请tesolchina老师帮忙看下
我曾经写的几篇issue，如下：^+h;f_:}"O5x:_5[[size=4]TOPIC: ISSUE129 - "Technology is a necessary but not always a positive force in modern life."
WORDS: 449 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-7-5 下午 03:27:59[/size]
[size=4]The author contends that technology is a force which is necessary but not always positive. While I consider that the author may disorder two concepts of technology and its application. We can not say that whether the technology is a positive or a passive force. It is the human beings who are using the technology that determine that whether the technology is one kind of positive force or a passive force.[/size]
[size=4]If human beings make use the technology properly, then the technology will make great role in the development of society. Looking back the history of human beings, we can figure out that after human learn to know the power of technology, the speed of development of society is much faster than before. For example, we now can fly to America in the sky just spending about 10 hours from China, but in the ancients times, people can not even think of it! What make so tremendous differences? It is the technology that makes the flying dream come true. Another example, do you know what is happing on the other side of earth? Somebody confused. We can achieve that from the Internet. Just click the mouse, and you will attain the most latest news from the Internet, which is the most widely used network nowadays. But one hundred years ago, people could know the news just around them. It is the technology that makes so positive force in it. So if we use it properly, it is one kind of tremendous positive force in modern life.[/size]Z+eF Ebl%DF:fH
[size=4]However, the technology can cause great disaster to human beings even destroy ourselves if we use it in the wrong way. As the science and technology developing, people now can make the organs ourselves, even we can make a cloned person. Admittedly, it is quite right that we clone an organ if somebody is deadly hurted by something and he needs an new complete organ immediacy, and it can bring his life back. However, if somebody use this technology to clone people, then it will cause a chain of problems in the society. What do you think that if another 'you' stand in front of you? It is the human that make use of technology that determine the essence of technology, not the technology itself. If we properly use the technology of clone it can make great attribution to human. [/size]
[size=4]To sum up, we can not say that whether technology serves a positive or a passive force in modern life, and the man who make use the technology determine that. Technology is surely necessary in the modern life, and only if we use it properly can it make great attribution to human beings.[/size]
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[size=4]又一篇：[/size]?_;^4]N {;u k'by%P
[size=4]ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."[/size]
[size=4]The author asserts that people's greatness can only be decided by those who live after him, not by their contemporaries. However, I partially agree with the author with the reason that there are some examples which contradict the author's contention. Admittedly, most of the cases are that the greatness of individuals is decided by those people who live after him, for instance, in the art and science field. But this is not all the cases. In some field, individual's greatness can be judged by his contemporaries. [/size]:bJn#d I-S
[size=4]Usually, in the field of art and science, individual's greatness are judged by those who live after them. The reason may be that the individuals who were thought highly by the offspring were not understood well by their own contemporaries. The cases are especially usual in the art field. Fango, a great painter, who was adored by those who live after him, was poor when he was alive. Because what he drawled was not according with his contemporaries' works, also he didn't consider their works were great. And in the field of science, the case is often the same. The scientists who made great feat in his own field, usually didn't accord with the popular views. A great scientist usually has thoughts which are not accept by his contemporaries, and in this case, his greatness can only be decided by the people living after him.[/size]
[size=4]However, this is not all the cases. Individual's greatness can be decided by their contemporaries in some field, like business and economics. One of the standards of judging a business man is how his business runs. If a businessman has a grand company and he own lots of money, then he is usually as a successful man in the field. Take the Bill Gates for example. He dropped his college, which was not understood by the people, and he builded up a company, which developed Microsoft, which is the largest company in the field of IT, winning himself the richest person. Then he can be judged by the contemporaries as one the most successful businessmen. In this case, there is no need to decided by the people living after him. Also in the field of economics, the crieta we evaluate a econometrists is his theories. If his theories are effective in solving some problems, then people may say that he is excellent. While his theories is likely to be thought as wrong, because of the circumstance of economics changing. And the people living after him may think him as not so great as his own contemporaries. So the econometrist's greatness can only be judged by their own contemporaries sometimes. [/size].s(\9c.}&n;y,c#s
[size=4]To sum up, the speaker can't see that there are some cases which are not according with his assertion, and make a mistake. The most cases is like the author's contention, that is, the greatness of individuals can be decided by those who live after him, while in other cases, it can also be decided by their contemporaries. And in some special cases, it is can only be evaluated by the contemporaries not the people living after him or her.[/size]
v7eo h-e
请老师尽情的批改！ 今天本大小姐极度不爽，所以发泄一下，帮你改作文，我在改，你等等
我写的也不是很好，改的不妥，见谅
第一篇~~~~
The author contends that technology is a force which is necessary but not always positive. While I consider that the author may disorder two concepts of technology and its application. We can not（cannot） say that whether the technology is a positive or a passive force. It is the human beings who are using (make the use of) the technology that determine that(去掉that) whether the technology is one kind of positive force or a passive force.If human beings make use the technology properly, then the technology will make great role in the development of society. Looking back the history of human beings, we can figure out that after human learn to know the power of technology, the speed of development of society is much faster than before. (Looking back of the history, the technology did not develop in a rapid way until us human beings know the importance of technology.) For example, we now can fly to America in the sky just spending about 10 hours from China, but in the ancients times, people can not even think of it!(Consider how fast it is when we fly from one place to another. Nowadays it only takes ten hours fly from one side of the world to another, which ancient people could never think of.) What makes so tremendous differences? (个人不是很喜欢issue正文段写疑问句) It is the technology that makes the flying dream come true. Another telling（我很喜欢的一个小词） example, do you know what is happing on the other side of earth? Somebody confused. We can achieve that from the Internet. Just click the mouse, and you will attain（gather） the most（去掉most） latest news from the Internet, which is the most widely used network nowadays. But one hundred years ago, people could（only） know the news just around them. It is the technology that makes so positive force in it. So if we use it properly, it is one kind of tremendous positive force in modern life. (the technology would definitely become a positive force in modern life)
However, the technology can cause great disaster to human beings and even destroy ourselves if we use it in the wrong way. As the science and technology developing, people now can make the organs ourselves; even we can make a cloned person. Admittedly, it is quite right that we clone an organ if somebody is deadly hurted by something and he needs an (a) new complete organ immediacy, and it can bring his life back. However, if somebody use this technology to clone people, then it will cause a chain of problems in the society. (The functions of technology may turn out into the opposite way if a cloned person becomes reality.)What do you think that if another 'you' stand in front of you? It is the human that make use of technology that determine the essence of technology, not the technology itself. If we properly use the technology of clone it can make great attribution to human. wu |:a2m+io-w%z
To sum up, we can not(cannot) say that whether technology serves a positive or a passive force in modern life, (It is) the man who make use the technology determine that. Technology is surely necessary in the modern life, and only if we use it properly can it make great attribution to human beings.
提几点建议吧，
1， issue一般是五段式，正文段是三段，还可以写一段positive或者negative，或者写negative 的地方要靠法律来制约，好像nuclear energy是不少国家制定过相关协议说不给乱用的吧（我也不太清楚，查下吧）
2， 字数好像有点少，issue一般都是550以上吧，但你应该是刚开始写，45分钟能写这么多已经很不错了，比我一开始强
3， Issue有高频的，按高频练吧8zc;GC/S(w.m3q I
4， 我也是10G的，一起加油~ 今晚我不是很开心，可能改的有点过分，见谅 有传说有个什么软件 可以判分数的 ...有谁知道么 准不准呀
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