请高人再次指点....今天新写的
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]请你们再次指点指点，，，，，这次我完成的时间也少了，，，，也比较清楚该写什么了。。谢谢你们。。。。。。。。。。。。。。[/size][/font][size=14pt][/size][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]
[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]题目：[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]There is a number of people think that watching TV would be good for children’s development while others disagree[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]What is your opinion?[/font][/size]
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Nowadays[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]there is no denying that TV has became increasingly extensive[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]almost each families has it[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]Some people suggest that watching TV is bad for children’s[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]while some other people argue that watching TV is benefit for children’s[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]I agree with the latter to some extent[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]In my opinion[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]whatching TV is good for children’s development[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][/size]
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On the one hand[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]whatching TV is a better measures to lead children to learn something they does not know[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]For example:some place animals[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]some place cultures[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]some new news what they can always learn in TV[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]By a reason of children’s parents spend more time on their work[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]Their parents does not have sufficient time to look after their children’s[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]To be sure[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]whatching tv is the only avenue to them to learn without their parents.[/font][/size]
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] On the other hand, They can always whatch some laugh programs what is a good
way for them to keep health[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]If they do not have any best friends or their parents are not at home[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]this is the only ave for them to laugh[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]and they do not feel boring[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]That is to say Children’s can get used to be lively[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]However[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]I do not repudiate TV have something fault[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]As long as children’s whatching TV with a proper tim[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]e[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]It is not have any harmful for them[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][/size]
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In conclusion[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]whatching TV is not bad for children[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]’[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]s development,and it can makes children[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]’[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]s become a clever person.[/font][/size]
[/size][/font] 感觉字数好像不够。而且结构有些不合理，如果向着一面导写的话，两端是不是不充分。
我不是高手，帮你顶帖子。 顶起 [font=Times New Roman][size=5]Nowadays[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=宋体]，[/font][/size][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]there is no denying that TV has became increasingly extensive[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[color=red]两个句子间没有连词么？[/color][/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]almost each families [color=red]each还是family吗？[/color]has it[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]Some people suggest that watching TV is bad for children’s[color=red]children的什么？[/color][/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]while some other people argue that watching TV is benefit[color=red]这个是形容词吗？[/color] for children’s[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]I agree with the latter to some extent[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]In my opinion[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]whatching TV is good for children’s development[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]。[/size][/font]
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[font=宋体][color=red]希望楼主自己改过几遍再发上来。[/color][/font]
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