蓝鹰IBT作文No.18梯队队员签到暨第一次作业-截止时间21日晚9时
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[table=98%][tr][td=1,1,707][font=宋体][size=3]一、每次活动至少写一篇独立写作和改一篇同组其他组员的写作，没有上限[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]二、既然加入团队，就要懂得团队的规则和坚持能力[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]三、修改一篇作文远比写一篇得到的多，请务必重视修改[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]四、务必在最后期限之前完成所有任务，没有特殊情况[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]五、禁止任何形式的占位，明确说明。写则写，改则改，根本不需要占位[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]六、每次作业完成之后都会统计每个组员的任务完成量，不要逃避，不要投机[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]七、不管你没考或者已经考完了IBT，但是我们需要传承一种互助的精神[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]八、未尽事宜请尽快联系或者跟帖提出[/size][/font][/td][/tr][/table]
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[table=98%][tr][td=1,1,707][font=宋体][size=3]一、错误用红色标出，绿色表示值得学习的地方，蓝色表示建议或者不确定[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]二、修改文章的时候请注明ON SOMEBODY，并建议最后SUMMARY[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]三、修改的越狠，你的作文水平提高越快，重视修改的时间和力度[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]四、尊重别人的修改成果[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]五、未尽事宜请尽快联系或者跟帖提出[/size][/font][/td][/tr][/table]
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[table=98%][tr][td=1,1,707][font=宋体][size=3]一、没有任何拼写错误，可以用WORD检查拼写，有拼写错误的文章不予修改[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]二、尊重自己的劳动也尊重别人的劳动成果[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]三、禁止占位发布作文，这不是必须的，写完发布一样可以[/size][/font][/td][/tr][tr][td][font=宋体][size=3]四、未尽事宜请尽快联系或者跟帖提出[/size][/font][/td][/tr][/table]
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蓝鹰IBT作文No.18&[color=#000000]Blue Eagle No.18第一次作业：[size=5][color=#ff0000]Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation(buses, trains, subways)? Why? [/color]
[/size][/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 FFFMZJB 于 2008-7-21 10:33 编辑 [/i]] 新的梯队，::31 一下::z1 [size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]恩谢谢cap和jy的修改，是有些明显的错误，已经改过。[/font][/size]
[font=宋体]另外公交车比一般汽车环保在于他载客量大，所以平均每人的话会环保些。。。两位都没理解我的意思，看来是我写的问题。[/font]
[font=宋体]内容的东西需要隔几天再改。恩。[/font]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]With the amazing development of our country, more and more individuals have their own cars, consequently, it enables traffic jam, accidents and pollution become common phenomenon in every big city of China. Therefore, whether governments spend more funds on building roads and highways or on improving public transportation to solve these problems is a hot debate. As far as I am concerned, invest(ing) on public transportation is a wiser way.[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song][/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]The first reason is that we cannot meet the break-pipe speed of increasing vehicles if we concentrate on improving roads and highways rather than public transportation. For example, there are about ten billion(s去掉） vehicles in Beijing, and this number is increasing by twenty percent every year. What a huge fund we need and when can we to meet this need!? Therefore government should invest on public transportation and guide people to use buses, trains, subways when they go out, it can solve the problem in the long run.[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song][/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]Secondly, public transportation is not only a more green way to protect environment, but also can save power. Public transportation can surly carry much more passengers than private vehicles, it discharge less pollution gas and save more energy which is good to all human-being.[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song][/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]Thirdly, public transportation is a more convenience（convenient), quick and easy way to citizens, individuals can easily arrive to（in） the destination when traffic jam happens on the ground. For instance, most of employees need to travel long distance to office because Beijing is a big city, they find they will (be)late for work if they choose private cars although they get up early in the morning, but subway is better, it will save almost half time if they choose this kind of transportation.[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song][/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=宋体, MS Song]To sum up, government should spend more money on public transportation on account of the specific reasons mentioned above. It will benefit all individuals in the long term.[/font][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 sunflower123 于 2008-7-21 10:36 编辑 [/i]] [size=5][font=Verdana]There is a controversial issue about whether the government should spend money on improving roads or public transportation. According to my personality and experiences, I prefer to invest money to construct roads. In the following paragraphs I will provide concrete evidences to explain my position clearly.
For one thing, it is universally acknowledged that building roads could improve our city’s current situation such as construct new road for transport, rebuild and widen the old road in order to reduce the pressure from population and cars growth. In my country, there are increasing number of people have private car or plan to possess although the gas price are continue increasing. Clearly, compare to change the public transportations, building roads are of important to the government. Also, there are few traffic jams when the new roads have been built and few traffic accidents occurred because of the road is narrow or not flat which condition may effects the drivers’ status, especially when they are very anxiety or anger. In terms of this situation, our government is better to invest money to improve the road condition.
For another thing, although improving current situation is the most important determine, it is not the only explanation for government pays money to the roads, so it is no exaggerating to say that it also can be regard as a line to link the city and countryside. With modern highways residents can easily take a break to expose to fresh air in countryside, and enjoy the refresh vegetables and seafood which transport from the various areas, even different countries. It is undoubtedly right that the roads play a significant role in our life.
Aside from the points above, I am fully convinced that spend money to public transportations also has some advantages like there are more buses can be supply to the consumers, the advanced equipment may improve the condition of the bus, and the consumers can receive some new services. Admittedly, improving roads has its undeniable demerits. For instance, investment is huge and the new road need long time to build. However, the advantages of improving roads carry more weight than those of investing transportations. The case is rare and too weak to weaken my point.
From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the government pay more money to improve roads may bring more benefits and rewards.[/font][/size]
ON sunflower123
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]With the amazing development of our country, more and more individuals have their own cars, consequently, it enables traffic jam[color=red](+s)[/color], accidents and pollution become common phenomenon[color=red](become much commoner than before [/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]这样觉得好一点吧，个人建议，其实也觉得你那句没错，只是自己感觉别扭[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman][color=red]) [/color]in every big city of China. Therefore, whether governments spend more funds on building roads and highways or on improving public transportation to solve these problems is a hot debate. As far as I am concerned, invest[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]+[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]还是不[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]+ing,[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]我对自己的这些语法也都不确定，希望你能给解释一下，大家都受益）[/font][/color][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4] on public transportation is a wiser way.[/size][/font]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]The first reason is that we cannot meet the break-pipe speed of increasing vehicles if we concentrate on improving roads and highways rather than public transportation[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（这句感觉很不错的，跟你学习啊）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman][color=red].[/color] For example, there are about ten billion[color=red]s[/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]（去掉吧，[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]S[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4]vehicles in Beijing, and this number is increasing by twenty percent every year. What a huge fund we need and when can we to meet this need!? Therefore government should invest on public transportation and guide people to use buses, trains, subways when they go out, it can solve the problem in the long run.
[/size][/font]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]Secondly, public transportation is not only a more green way[color=blue](at least at the present time if the transportation system really use the green source ,)[/color] [color=red]([/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]只能说是效率提高了，但是不确定他们已经在用绿色能源了啊[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman])[/font][/color][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4]to protect environment, but also can save power. Public transportation can surly carry much more passengers than private vehicles, it discharge less pollution gas and save more energy which is good to all human-being.
[/size][/font]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]Thirdly, public transportation is a more [color=red]convenience([/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]后面两个词汇都用[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]adj ,so this should be modified by convenient)[/font][/color][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4], quick and easy way to citizens, individuals can easily arrive [color=red]to(I just remember these two phases: arrive in and arrive at which represents the long distance and the short distance respectively, so can you make a much more comprehensive analysis ?) [/color]the destination when traffic jam happens on the ground. For instance,[color=red](the subway maybe the better choice for the commuters who have to get to work on time since it has any traffic jams even in rush hours on the ground) [/color]most of employees need to travel long distance to office because Beijing is a big city, they find they will [color=red]be[/color] late for work if they choose private cars although they get up early in the morning, but subway is better, it will save almost half time if they choose this kind of transportation.
To sum up, government should spend more money on public transportation on account of the specific reasons mentioned above. It will benefit all individuals in the long term.[/size][/font]
[size=10.5pt]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]SUMMARY
1[/size][/font][/size][size=4][font=宋体]、[/font][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]1[/font][/size][font=宋体]、三个理由应该是递减的段落，一段比一段少，最重要的写的最多的在第一段[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]2[/size][/font][/size][size=4][font=宋体]、[/font][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]2[/font][/size][font=宋体]、事例感觉不是很充足，希望在深入一些就好了[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]3[/size][/font][/size][size=4][font=宋体]、[/font][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]3[/font][/size][font=宋体]、一些句子还是很优美的啊，值得学习，[/font][/size][size=4][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]^_^~~~
4[/font][/size][font=宋体]、只是我的个人建议，希望我们可以互相学习[/font][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 FFFMZJB 于 2008-7-21 06:16 编辑 [/i]]
ON jy02976110
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]There is a controversial issue about whether the government should spend money on improving roads or public transportation. According to my personality and experiences, I prefer to invest money to construct roads. In the following paragraphs I will provide concrete evidences to explain my position clearly[color=red]([/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]典型的[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]ISSUE[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]开头，呵呵，大家都写这个，没什么可以改的吧，其实说实话都快被中国人用烂了[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman])[/font][/color][/size][size=4][font=Times New Roman].For one thing, it is universally acknowledged that building roads could improve our city’s current situation such as construct[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]+ing[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman] new road for transport, rebuild[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]+ing[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman] and widen[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]+ing[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman] the old roads in order to reduce the pressure from population and cars growth. In my country, there are increasing number of people have private car or plan to possess although the gas price are continue increasing. Clearly, compare to change the public transportations, building roads are of important[color=red](great importance,[/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]打错了吧[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman][color=red])[/color] to the government. Also, there are few traffic jams when the new roads have been built and few traffic accidents occurred [color=red]because of the road is narrow or not flat(because of the road’s worse situation )[/color] which condition may effects the drivers’ status, especially when they are very anxiety or anger. In terms of this situation, our government[color=red] is better to[/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]in my person opinion ,it is wrong ,I think the word “is” should be replaced by the word “had”[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][/size][size=4][font=Times New Roman] invest money to improve the road condition.
For another thing, although improving current situation is the most important determine[color=red](determination),[/color] it is not the only explanation for government pays money to the roads, so it is no exaggerating to say that it also can be regard as a line to link the city and countryside. With modern highways residents can easily take a break to expose to fresh air in countryside, and enjoy the refresh vegetables and seafood which transport from the various areas, even different countries. It is undoubtedly right that the roads play a significant role in our life.
Aside from the points above, I am fully convinced that spend[color=red]ing[/color] money [color=red]on[/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]（这些都是基本的表达，自己写完多看看肯定马上就能看出来的）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman] public transportations also has some advantages like there are more buses can be supply to the consumers, the advanced equipment may improve the condition of the bus, and the consumers can receive some new services.[color=red] Admittedly[/color], improving roads has its undeniable demerits. For instance, investment is huge and the new road need long time to build. However, the advantages of improving roads carry more weight than those of investing transportations. The case is rare and too weak to weaken my point[/font][font=宋体]（这句话总结感觉混乱）[/font][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4].
From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the government pay more money to improve roads may bring more benefits and rewards.[font=宋体][size=10.5pt][/size][/font][/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]SUMMARY[/size][/font]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]1、
[/font][font=宋体]有些地方其实写的已经混乱了，感觉思路在不停的转换，尤其是在一段之内，还是论证一个观点在一个段落比较好吧[/font][/size]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]2、
[/font][font=宋体]有些简单的基本错误，那些都是很常用的词汇，多看看多改改就好了[/font][/size]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]3、
[/font][font=宋体]个人建议，互相学习[/font][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 FFFMZJB 于 2008-7-21 00:16 编辑 [/i]] 是第二段么？两个例子？
我就是对于伦点扩展不明白，还有语法成问题。。。。
作了简单修改
There is a controversial issue about whether the government should spend money on improving roads or public transportation. According to my personality and experiences, I prefer to invest money to construct roads. In the following paragraphs I will provide concrete evidences to explain my position clearly.
For one thing, it is universally acknowledged that building roads could improve our city’s current situation such as constructing new road for transport, rebuilding and widening the old roads in order to reduce the pressure from population and cars growth. In my country, there are increasing number of people have private car or plan to possess although the gas price are continue increasing. Also, there are few traffic jams when the new roads have been built and few traffic accidents occurred because of the road’s worse situation which condition may effects the drivers’ status, especially when they are very anxiety or anger. In terms of these situations, building roads are of importance to the government.
For another thing, although improving current situation is the most important determination, it is not the only explanation for government pays money to the roads, so it is no exaggerating to say that it also can be regard as a line to link the city and countryside. With modern highways residents can easily take a break to expose to fresh air in countryside, and enjoy the refresh vegetables and seafood which transport from the various areas, even different countries. It is undoubtedly right that the roads play a significant role in our life.
Aside from the points above, I am fully convinced that spending money on public transportations also has some advantages like there are more buses can be supply to the consumers, the advanced equipment may improve the condition of the bus, and the consumers can receive some new services. Admittedly, improving roads has its undeniable demerits. For instance, investment is huge and the new road need long time to build. However, the advantages of improving roads carry more weight than those of investing transportations.
From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the government pay more money to improve roads may bring more benefits and rewards. [size=13.5pt]ON sunflower123[/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman][/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]With the amazing development of our country, more and more individuals have their own cars, consequently, it enables traffic jam[color=red]s[/color], accidents and pollution become common phenomenon
in every big city of China. Therefore, whether governments spend more funds on building roads and highways or on improving public transportation to solve these problems is a hot debate. As far as I am concerned, invest[color=red]ing[/color] on public transportation is a wiser way.
[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]The first reason is that we cannot meet the break-pipe speed of increasing vehicles if we concentrate on improving roads and highways rather than public transportation[color=red].[/color] For example, there are about ten [color=red]billion [/color]vehicles in Beijing, and this number is increasing by twenty percent every year. What a huge fund we need and when can we to meet this need!? Therefore government should invest on public transportation and guide people to use buses, trains, subways when they go out, it can solve the problem in the long run.
[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]Secondly, public transportation is not only a more green way [color=red]([/color][/font][/size][font=宋体][size=13.5pt]公交车不一定比私家车环保，现在很多私家车都很环保了[/size][/font][font=Times New Roman][size=13.5pt])[/size][size=13.5pt]to protect environment, but also can save power[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=13.5pt]（[/size][/font][size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]nature resources[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=13.5pt]自然资源比较好）[/size][/font][size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]. Public transportation can surly carry much more passengers than private vehicles, [color=red]it discharge less pollution gas and save more energy which is good to all human-being[/color].[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=13.5pt]（我觉得你可以说新的公交车或者改良的车子有这个功效）[/size][/font]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]Thirdly, public transportation is a more [color=red]convenient[/color], quick and easy way to citizens, individuals can easily arrive to
the destination [color=red]by subway[/color] when traffic jam happens on the ground. For instance, [color=red](the subway maybe the better choice for the commuters who have to get to work on time since it has any traffic jams especially in rush hours on the ground) [/color]most of employees need to travel long distance to office because Beijing is a big city, they find they will [color=red]be[/color] late for work if they choose private cars although they get up early in the morning, but subway is better, it will save almost half time if they choose this kind of transportation.
[/font][/size]
[size=13.5pt][font=Times New Roman]To sum up, government should spend more money on public transportation on account of the specific reasons mentioned above. It will benefit all individuals in the long term.[/font][/size][size=14pt][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 jy02976110 于 2008-7-21 10:12 编辑 [/i]] wow.....我才看到~~~
赶快写去~~~~~只不过水平实在有限~~~
不过想问一句，怎么改Blue Eagle T18的头衔阿~~？？？ 1、8楼的改文章的时候请注意修改规则，首先注明ON SOMEBODY，现在文章少比较好查看，等文章多了就没那么容易了
2、9楼以后这种无关回复尽量少出现，毕竟我们主要针对的是写作，谁写作牛了也不会来这里组队了，所以大家一起练习就可以了
修改头衔在控制面板的编辑个人资料里面 额~第一次很认真的开始复习作文结果导致这篇文章写了三个版本。先讲一下思路的问题。第一次写我就倾向于支持公共交通，结果被老师批。老师说这个题目是没有那一方好哪一方不好的，高速公路是在城市发展之后需要给钱的，公共交通是很穷大家都要坐公车的时候给钱的，属于两个阶段。然后再结合污染收回投资等方面写一下，最好两个方面一起支持。第二篇写完之后据说还是境界不高，没办法，还是发上来好了。
PS：真的是电脑盲，好多功能不会用
[font=Times New Roman][size=4][size=10.5pt][size=10.5pt]We would all agree that we will benefit from improvement in both of highways and public transportation,for this improvement will[/size][size=10.5pt] supply more convenient[/size][size=10.5pt] for our life.Therefor,[/size][size=10.5pt]investing in roads and highways or public transportation will be a [/size][size=10.5pt]tough decision[/size][size=10.5pt] governments have to make.In my view,[/size][size=10.5pt] governments had better make this choice[/size][size=10.5pt] depends on different circumstances and I will try to demonstrate my points in the following paragraphs.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In some of developing countries which [/size][size=10.5pt]is[/size][size=10.5pt] not prosperous enough,investing in public transportation will be a better choice.[/size][size=10.5pt]C[/size][size=10.5pt]ompare with （这个说一下，compare 不能用于表达两个相对的事物，只能表示同一个事情的差别）[/size][size=10.5pt]the minority rich men,most of people choose to use public traffic because they cannot afford a car especially [/size][size=10.5pt]because the price of gasoline is higher and higher [/size][size=10.5pt]today.Moreover,They prefer public transportation not only on account of its inexpensive price,but also [/size][size=10.5pt]since they want to enjoy slow pace of life[/size][size=10.5pt].[/size][size=10.5pt]In [/size][size=10.5pt]the bus,they can talk with each other and make friends with their peers.It's very interesting,isn't it?Thus,governments should pay more attention to public transportation,for they are responsible for improving quality of all people's life.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In contrast,governments in some developed countries [/size][size=10.5pt]had better[/size][size=10.5pt] spend more money on roads and highways.Highways was used frequently,[/size][size=10.5pt]for [/size][size=10.5pt]more and more people have their own cars and speed is of essential in their modern life.It's not hard to imagine that traffic congestion will happen and disturb [/size][size=10.5pt]our daily routine when we go to work in hurry,when we send our children to school,even when we meet some important clients.（改成动名词形式比较简洁，特别是指每天固定做的事情）[/size][size=10.5pt]A [/size][size=10.5pt]well established [/size][size=10.5pt]highway system will solve these problems.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In addition,other factors will be considered by governments when they decide to invest in transportation.Although Governments [/size][size=10.5pt]receive[/size][size=10.5pt] （投资之后收回来的钱不能用receive，应该用recover[/size]
[size=10.5pt]a lot of money from highways annually,highways [/size][size=10.5pt]still have some potential negative impact such as serious air pollution which is very harmful to people's health.On the other hand,[/size][size=10.5pt]widely used [/size][size=10.5pt]mass transportation will reduce the totally number of vehicles and minimize exhaust gas ,so as to save energy resources and [/size][size=10.5pt]decrease [/size][size=10.5pt]air pollution.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] To sum up,investing in both highways and public transportations will improve the quality of people's life.To supply a comfortable and convenient lifestyle,governments [/size][size=10.5pt]had better choose one of them which is more appropriate to the needs of their countries.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][color=black]我被改过的稿，希望再提点意见，错太多了：）[/color][/size]
[size=10.5pt][color=#000000][/color][/size]
[size=10.5pt][color=#000000][/color][/size]
[size=10.5pt][color=black][size=10.5pt]We would all agree that we will benefit from improvement in both of highways and public transportation,for this improvement will provide more convenience for our life.Therefor,[/size][size=10.5pt]investing in roads and highways or public transportation will be a [/size][size=10.5pt]tough decision[/size][size=10.5pt] governments have to make.In my view, this choice governments had better make depends on circumstances and I will try to demonstrate my points in the following paragraphs.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt] In some of developing countries which are not prosperous enough,investing in public transportation will be a better choice .In contrast to [/size][size=10.5pt]the minority of rich men,most people choose to use public traffic because they cannot afford a car especially because the price of gasoline is getting higher and higher today.Moreover,They prefer public transportation not only on account of its right price,but also due to the enjoyment from slow pace of life.On the bus,they can talk with each other and make friends with their peers.It's very interesting,isn't it?Thus,governments should pay more attention to public transportation,for they are responsible for improving quality of all people's lives.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt] In contrast,governments in some developed countries would rather spend more money on roads and highways.Highways was used frequently in that more and more people have their own cars and speed is essential in their modern life.It's not hard to imagine that traffic congestion will happen and disturb our daily routine ------going to work, sending children to school, and meeting important clients.A well- established highway system will solve all these problems.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt] In addition,other factors ought to be considered by governments when they decide to invest in transportation.Although Governments can recover a lot of money from highways annually,highways [/size][size=10.5pt]still have some potential negative impacts, such as serious air pollution, which is very harmful to people's health.On the other hand,widely- used mass transportation will reduce the number of vehicles and minimize exhaust gas ,so as to save energy resources and [/size][size=10.5pt]alleviate[/size][size=10.5pt] air pollution.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt] To sum up,investing in both highways and public transportations will improve the quality of people's lives.To offer a comfortable and convenient lifestyle,governments had better choose the more appropriate to their people.[/size][/color]
[color=black]
[/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt]排版不好，越改越乱，还是不动就这么发了~谅解~[/size][/color]
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[/color]
[color=black]
[size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[/size][/size][/size][/font] Every day there are many traffic jams everywhere, causing great inconveniences to people’s daily lives. It has now drawn public attention to the issue of whether governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways or on public transportation. According to my experience I prefer to invest in public transportation. The reasons is as below.
First, public transportation can take more people than private car, it will relieve the traffic congestion and also can reduce the traffic jam. In China, the birth rate is continuously increasing, it brings lots social problems. One of biggest issue is the capacity of cities are overloaded and the consequent traffic jam and the lack of parking lot. An efficient way to reduce traffic jam is to encourage people to take public transportation so that improve the efficiency of transportation. Obviously, built a better public transportation systems will encourage more people to use them rather than drive their own cars. This will reduce the total amount of traffic on the roads and make travel quicker for everyone.
Second, using public transportation are better for improve the environment. Public transportation are clean, energy-saving and space-saving. For instance, If people all driving their own cars, It will release much more carbon monoxide than people all taking public vehicle. Because a private car can only take four individuals at one time, but a bus can take at least twenty individuals.
Third, taking public transportation are much cheaper than private cars. In China, private car is a rare commodity, not every one can afford it. Moreover, the gas price is constantly get higher.
All in all, I stand on the side of the government should spend money on improving public transportation. The government should make this world a better place to live in, not only for ourselves, but also for future generations.
完全乱写~~~后面两点完全乱来。。。因为赶着出门~~~**去~~~ [size=10.5pt]ON cfcf[/size]
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[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]Every day there are many traffic jams everywhere, causing great inconveniences to people’s daily lives. It has now drawn public attention to the issue of whether governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways or on public transportation. According to my experience I prefer to invest in public transportation. [/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]The reasons is as below[/color].(there are many reasons for it,[font=宋体]这句话至少把is改成are，觉得改成前面那句比较好）[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]First, public transportation can take more people than [/size][size=10.5pt]private car[/size][size=10.5pt], it will relieve the traffic congestion[/size]
[size=10.5pt]and also[/size][size=10.5pt] can reduce the traffic jam. In China, the birth rate is continuously increasing, it [color=red]brings [/color][font=宋体][color=red]（bring about/causes)[/color]lots social problems. One of [/font][/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]biggest issue[/color](the serious issues[font=宋体]，一般不用biggest搭配) [/font][/size][size=10.5pt]is the capacity of cities[color=red] [/color][/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]are[/size][size=10.5pt] overloaded and [/size][/color][size=10.5pt][color=red]the consequent traffic jam and the lack of parking lot. [/color][font=宋体]（[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]One of [/size][size=10.5pt]the serious issues [/size][size=10.5pt]is the capacity of cities [font=宋体]，overloaded and [/font][/size][size=10.5pt]the consequent traffic jam and the lack of parking lot. [font=宋体]刚开始读觉得不通，后来想应该是指三个情况，于是把are去掉改成逗号，不知道是不是这个意思呢，赫赫[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][font=宋体]）[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]An efficient way to reduce traffic jam is to encourage people to take public transportation [/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]so that[/size][/color][size=10.5pt] [font=宋体]（in order to，so that后面加句子，不加动词原形，后面的efficiency和前面有重复，其实都可以不要。so that 后面全部去掉)improve the efficiency of transportation). Obviously,[color=red] built[/color] （表示将来用to built）a better public transportation [color=red]systems[/color] （改成单数）will encourage more people to use them rather than [/font][/size][size=10.5pt]drive their own cars. [/size][size=10.5pt]This will reduce the total amount of traffic on the roads and make travel quicker for everyone. [/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]Second, using public transportation [/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]are[/size][/color][size=10.5pt][color=red] [/color](is)better for [/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]improve[/color](improving) [/size][size=10.5pt]the environment. Public transportation are clean, energy-saving and space-saving. For instance, If people all [/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]driving [/color](drive)[/size][size=10.5pt]their own cars, It will release much more carbon monoxide [/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]than people all taking public vehicle[/size][/color][size=10.5pt].( It will release much more carbon monoxide [font=宋体]，把than后面都去掉了，这样可以表达意思，清楚简洁些而且如果用people all [/font][/size][size=10.5pt]driving[/size]
[size=10.5pt][font=宋体]就变成人和人比了，这里比的是排放的气[/font][/size][size=10.5pt])Because a private car can only take four individuals at one time, but a bus can take at least twenty [/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]individuals[/color].([/size][size=10.5pt]at least twenty more[font=宋体]，重复的词不用)[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]Third, taking public transportation are much cheaper than [/size][size=10.5pt][color=red]private cars[/color].(driving private cars[font=宋体]，比较前后对应)[/font][/size][size=10.5pt] In China, private car is a rare commodity, not every one can afford it. Moreover, the gas price is constantly [/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]get[/size][/color][size=10.5pt][color=red] [/color](getting)higher. [/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]All in all, [color=red]I stand on the side of[/color] ( I stand on the idea that[font=宋体]，side这样用感觉不太合适)the government should spend money on improving public transportation. The government should make this world a better place to live in, not only for ourselves, but also for future generations.[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][font=宋体]改了一下，也不知道合不合适，给你参考吧好么。顺便说一下写的不错，文字很朴实：）[/font][/size]
[font=宋体][/font]
[font=宋体]我发的字体都有问题，好奇怪，在word上还好好的~[/font][size=10.5pt][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 conytu 于 2008-7-21 20:00 编辑 [/i]]
on conytu
[font=Times New Roman]on conytu[/font][font=Times New Roman]首先说一下，你老师的思路也许他自己能写得好，但是你未必，思路不需要向别人请教，继续自己的风格吧。(其实这种折中的观点最不容易得高分）[/font]
[font=Times New Roman]其次，第二版（就是下面的）作文好像排版有错误，所以就按照上面的改了。[/font]
[font=Times New Roman][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][/font]
[font=Times New Roman]We would all agree that we will benefit from improvement in both of highways and public transportation,for this improvement will[size=10.5pt] supply more convenient[/size][size=10.5pt] for our life.Therefore,[/size][size=10.5pt]investing in roads and highways or public transportation will be a [/size][size=10.5pt]tough decision[/size][size=10.5pt] [color=blue]governments have to make(改为for government to make).[/color]In my view(可以考虑换一个更好的连接词）,[/size][size=10.5pt] governments had better make this choice[/size][size=10.5pt] depends on different circumstances and I will try to demonstrate my points in the following paragraphs.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In some of developing countries [color=red]which [/color][/size][color=red][size=10.5pt]is[/size][/color][size=10.5pt][color=red] not prosperous enough（重复，发展中国家当然不够繁荣[/color]),investing in public transportation will be a better choice.[/size][size=10.5pt]C[/size][size=10.5pt]ompare with （这个说一下，compare 不能用于表达两个相对的事物，只能表示同一个事情的差别）[/size][color=blue][size=10.5pt]the minority rich men,most of people choose to use public traffic because they cannot afford a car especially [/size][size=10.5pt]because the price of gasoline is higher and higher [/size][/color][size=10.5pt][color=blue]today[/color].([color=blue]建议好好考虑考虑重写[/color])Moreover,They prefer public transportation not only on account of its inexpensive price,but also [/size][size=10.5pt]since they want to enjoy slow pace of life[/size][size=10.5pt].[/size][size=10.5pt]In [/size][size=10.5pt]the bus,they can talk with each other and make friends with their peers.（[color=blue]中文式英文，顺序要倒过来。。）[/color]It's very interesting,isn't it?Thus,governments should pay more attention to public transportation,for they are responsible for improving quality of all people's life.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In contrast,governments in some developed countries [/size][size=10.5pt]had better[/size][size=10.5pt] spend more money on roads and highways.Highways was used frequently,[/size][size=10.5pt]for [/size][size=10.5pt]more and more people have their own cars and speed is of essential in their modern life.It's not hard to imagine that traffic congestion will happen and disturb [/size][size=10.5pt]our daily routine when we go to work in hurry,when we send our children to school,even when we meet some important clients.（改成动名词形式比较简洁，特别是指每天固定做的事情）[/size][size=10.5pt]A [/size][size=10.5pt]well established [/size][size=10.5pt]highway system will solve these problems.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] In addition,other factors will be considered by governments when they decide to invest in transportation.Although Governments [/size][size=10.5pt]receive[/size][size=10.5pt] （投资之后收回来的钱不能用receive，应该用recover[/size]
[size=10.5pt]a lot of money from highways annually,highways [/size][size=10.5pt]still have some potential negative impact such as serious air pollution which is very harmful to people's health.On the other hand,[/size][size=10.5pt]widely used [/size][size=10.5pt]mass transportation will reduce the totally number of vehicles and minimize exhaust gas ,so as to save energy resources and [/size][size=10.5pt]decrease [/size][size=10.5pt]air pollution.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] To sum up,investing in both highways and public transportations will improve the quality of people's life.To supply a comfortable and convenient lifestyle,governments [/size][size=10.5pt]had better choose one of them which is more appropriate to the needs of their countries.[/size][/font]
问题：
1还是出发点的问题，你文中写了从发展中国家和发达国家不同情况来比较，至少我认为就不太合适。我认为题目还是让我们写本国**，这样你也有所写，能写。这样简单的比较没有具体举出例子，只是概述理由不太好。
2 中文思维还根深蒂固。。。是不是受国内考试的毒害。。。
3 鉴于是刚开始写，已经不错啦，重在坚持写~~
hh1936‘s response
[font=Times New Roman][size=5]As a result of material prosperity in modern society, more and more people are thinking of owning a private vehicle, such as ordinary cars or luxury limousine. More private cars demand our governments to allocate more budget to improvement of roads and highways. However, my opinion is that more government fund should be devoted to public transportation, according to following reasons.Most importantly, spending more money to upgrade roads or highways would encourage even more people to buy new vehicles, which, in turn, could exacerbate the traffic congestion. The population of the present world is already huge. If everyone on earth has his or her own car and drive out at the same time, a horrible traffic jam would be inevitable and unbearable. A effective to ease traffic jam is to discouraging the use of private cars. For instance, right before the 2008 Olympics, Beijing municipal government is giving strong support to bus, metro in the capital of China, while encouraging people to drive their own car every other day. The immediate result is the traffic condition in Beijing has been greatly enhanced. With less jam, people in Beijing can save about 20% time, traveling the same distance. In short, I believe more government fund on road or highways could result in less traffic congestion.
Besides, global warming may become even worse if roads and highways are the priorities in government budget. People would probably prefer private vehicle to public transportation, if old road and highways are improved or advanced ones are newly constructed. With more cars running on the way, more carbon dioxide, the major cause of global warming, would be emitted into the air. Conversely, the number of vehicles on the way could be reduced, if people choose public buses or metros which could accommodate much more passengers than private cars. So, more fund on public transportation would be a more environment-friendly choice.
Finally, the majority of population across the world, ,especially in developing countries, are still not rich enough to buy their private cars, thus money on roads or highways would be useless for them. In China, most people still take bicycles, buses, metros and trains to travel. The situation is similar in other developing countries. Even in certain developed countries, people without private vehicles still outnumber those with them. In order to benefit as many people as possible it would be wise for our governments to pay more attention to public transportation.
In summary, traffic congestion and global warming are much likely to be worsened by spending more government money to improve road and highway system. In contrast, enhancing public transportation is both beneficial to environment and the majority of world’s population. Therefore, governments should spend more budgets on public transportation, rather than roads or highways.[/size][/font]
[[i] 本帖最后由 hh1936 于 2008-7-21 20:58 编辑 [/i]]
补充一下修改作文的次序问题
为了避免一个人长期修改另外一个人的作文，我们不固定谁改谁的作文，而是根据发文的顺序来确定互改的顺序。就是说5个人发文，每个人一个楼层，每次甲、乙、丙、丁、戊发文顺序都不一样，因此，让1楼发文的组员修改5楼作文， 2楼发文的组员修改1楼作文，3楼发文的组员修改2楼作文，4楼发文的组员修改3楼作文，5楼发文的组员修改4楼作文。 大家觉得这样合适吗？ON hh1936
[size=4][font=Times New Roman]As a result of[color=red]([/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]觉得这个总结性的还是不要用在开头吧，[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]With the accelerating steps of living standards both in developing and develop nations ) material prosperity in modern society,[/font][/color][/size][size=4][font=Times New Roman] more and more people are thinking of owning a private vehicle, such as ordinary cars or luxury limousine. More private cars demand our governments to allocate more budget to improvement of roads and highways. However, my opinion is that more government fund should be devoted to public transportation, according to following reasons.Most [color=red]importantly(I do not find this word in dictionary and I never see it before ,so I think maybe you type it wrong or pay much attention on a word)[/color], [color=red]spending more money to upgrade(if I were you ,I will write this sentence like this: spending more money on upgrading )[/color] roads or highways would encourage even more people to buy new vehicles, which, in turn, could exacerbate the traffic [color=blue]congestion(good word )[/color]. The population of the present world is already huge. If everyone on earth has his or her own car and drive out at the same time, a horrible traffic jam would be inevitable and unbearable. A[/font][color=red][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman]An[/font][/color][color=red][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][font=Times New Roman] effective [color=red]method[/color] to ease traffic jam is to discouraging the use of private cars. For instance, right before the 2008 Olympics, Beijing municipal government is giving strong support to bus, [color=red]metro(why subway system or subway transportation ,in the dictionary the metro refers the subway in London, is that right?) [/color]in the capital of China, while encouraging people to drive their own car every other day. The immediate result is the traffic condition in Beijing has been greatly enhanced. With less jam, people in Beijing can save about 20% time, traveling the same distance. [color=red]In short, I believe more government fund on road or highways could result in less traffic congestion.([/color][/font][color=red][font=宋体]这句话你是要总结上面这段话还是要提出新观点，怎末觉得不对啊，[/font][/color][color=red][font=Times New Roman])[/font][/color][/size]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]Besides, global warming may become even worse if roads and highways are the priorities in government budget. [color=blue]People would probably prefer private vehicle to public transportation, if old road and highways are improved or advanced ones are newly constructed. With more cars running on the way, more carbon dioxide, the major cause of global warming, would be emitted into the air. Conversely, the number of vehicles on the way could be reduced, if people choose public buses or metros which could accommodate much more passengers than private cars.[/color] [/size][/font][size=4][color=#ff6600][font=宋体]（[/font][/color][color=#ff6600][font=Times New Roman]These two sentence are so beautiful and I study this kind of sentence from you ,thanks [/font][/color][color=#ff6600][font=宋体]）[/font][/color][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=4]So, more fund on public transportation would be a more environment-friendly choice.
Finally, the majority of population across the world, ,especially in developing countries, are still not rich enough to buy their private cars, thus money on roads or highways would be useless for them. In China, most people still take bicycles, buses, metros and trains to travel. The situation is similar in other developing countries. Even in certain developed countries, people without private vehicles still [color=blue]outnumber[/color] those with them. In order to benefit as many people as possible it would be wise for our governments to pay more attention to public transportation.
In summary, traffic congestion and global warming are much likely to be worsened by spending more government money to improve road and highway system. In contrast, enhancing public transportation is both beneficial to environment and the majority of world’s population. Therefore, governments should spend more budgets on public transportation, rather than roads or highways.[/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=4]文章太好，基本没什么可以说的，希望能给我们大家提供更多的帮助和修改，谢谢你[/size][/font] ON hh1936
As a result of material prosperity in modern society, more and more people are thinking of owning a private vehicle, such as ordinary cars or luxury limousine. More private cars demand our governments to allocate more budget to improvement of roads and highways. However, my opinion is that more government fund should be devoted to public transportation, according to following reasons. [color=green](不错，我也是类似思路，但没这个写得好,第一句确实该改一改会更好）[/color]
Most importantly, spending more money to upgrade roads or highways would encourage even more people to buy new vehicles, which, in turn, could exacerbate the traffic congestion. The population of the present world is already huge. If everyone on earth has his or her own car and drive out at the same time, a horrible traffic jam would be inevitable and unbearable. A effective to ease traffic jam is to discouraging the use of private cars. For instance, right before the 2008 Olympics, Beijing municipal government is giving strong support to bus, metro in the capital of China, while encouraging people to drive their own car every other day. The immediate result is the traffic condition in Beijing has been greatly enhanced. With less jam, people in Beijing can save about 20% time, traveling the same distance. In short, I believe more government fund on road or highways could result in less traffic congestion.[color=blue] (写的不错，但是仔细想想，有偏题之嫌, 因为分论点有点绕弯，没往总论点上靠，英文论点还是直白点好。尤其是最后一句话....实在让我有点看不懂....不太对应啊）[/color]
Besides, global warming may become even worse if roads and highways are the priorities in government budget. People would probably prefer private vehicle to public transportation, if old road and highways are improved or advanced ones are newly constructed. With more cars running on the way, more carbon dioxide, the major cause of global warming, would be emitted into the air. Conversely, the number of vehicles on the way could be reduced, if people choose public buses or metros which could accommodate much more passengers than private cars. So, more fund on public transportation would be a more environment-friendly choice.（[color=green]向你学习。。我就是想这么写的。。。没写出来，呵呵）[/color]
Finally, the majority of population across the world, ,especially in developing countries, are still not rich enough to buy their private cars, thus money on roads or highways would be useless for them. In China, most people still take bicycles, buses, metros and trains to travel. The situation is similar in other developing countries. Even in certain developed countries, people without private vehicles still outnumber those with them. In order to benefit as many people as possible it would be wise for our governments to pay more attention to public transportation.
In summary, traffic congestion and global warming are much likely to be worsened by spending more government money to improve road and highway system. In contrast, enhancing public transportation is both beneficial to environment and the majority of world’s population. Therefore, governments should spend more budgets on public transportation, rather than roads or highways.
向hh同学学习~~ [color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]On conytu[/font][/size][/color]
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[align=left][align=left][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]We would all agree that we will benefit from improvement in both of highways and public transportation,for this improvement will provide more convenience for our life.Therefor,investing in roads and highways or public transportation will be a tough decision governments have to make.In my view, this choice governments had better make depends on circumstances and I will try to demonstrate my points in the following paragraphs.[/font][/size][/color][size=10.5pt]
[color=black][font=Times New Roman] In some of developing countries which are not prosperous enough,investing in public transportation will be a better choice .[color=red]In contrast to the minority of rich men,most people choose to use public traffic because they cannot afford a car especially because the price of gasoline is getting higher and higher today.[/color] [/font][/color][/size][color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]（[color=blue]建议上句改成[/color][/size][/font][/color][size=10pt][color=blue]Most people choose public transportation instead of personal vehicle with the increasing gasoline price[/color]. [/size][font=宋体][size=10pt]）[/size][/font][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman][color=red]Moreover, They prefer public transportation not only on account of its right price, but also due to the enjoyment from slow pace of life.[/color] [/font][/size][/color][color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]（[color=blue]上句改成：[/color][/size][/font][/color][size=10pt][color=blue]Moreover, they prefer public transportation not only for the low cost, but also for the leisure gained from sitting in the bus, listening to the music and chatting with peers[/color]. [/size][font=宋体][size=10pt]）[/size][/font][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]On the bus,they can talk with each other and make friends with their peers.It's very interesting,isn't it?Thus,governments should pay more attention to public transportation,for they are responsible for improving quality of all people's lives.
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[color=black][font=Times New Roman] In contrast, governments in some developed countries would rather spend more money on roads and highways .[color=red]Highways was used frequently that more and more people have their own cars and speed is essential in their modern life.[/color] [/font][/color][/size][color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]（[color=blue]这句好像有点奇怪。[/color][/size][/font][/color][size=10pt][color=blue]The huge increase of occupation of private cars makes highways used more frequently and therefore speed comes essential to drivers modern life[/color][/size][font=宋体][size=10pt]）[/size][/font][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman] It's not hard to imagine that traffic congestion will happen and disturb our daily routine ------going to work, sending children to school, and meeting important clients. A well- established highway system will solve all these problems.[/font][/size][/color][size=10.5pt]
[font=Times New Roman][color=black] In addition,other factors ought to be considered by governments when they decide to invest in transportation.Although Governments can recover a lot of money from highways annually,highways still have some potential negative impacts, such as serious air pollution, which is very harmful to people's health.On the other hand,widely- used mass transportation will reduce the number of vehicles and minimize exhaust gas ,so as to save energy resources and alleviate air pollution.[/color]
[color=black] To sum up,investing in both highways and public transportations will improve the quality of people's lives.To offer a comfortable and convenient lifestyle,governments had better choose the more appropriate to their people.[/color][/font][/size][size=10pt][/size][/align][/align][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size][/color]
[color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size][/color]
[color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]在[/size][/font][/color][color=black][size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]sun[/font][/size][/color][color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]的基础上改的一些句子。因为本人的语法实在太差，所以什么搭配什么时态完全不懂。帮你改的句子也都是请教了牛人。。。放心用拉！！！[/size][/font][/color][color=black][size=10.5pt][/size][/color]
[color=black][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]一起加油！！！！！！[/size][/font][/color] 晕。。。完全走错地方了。。
555.谁改我的。。。。
[url]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1085728-1-1.html[/url]
第2页 [font=Times New Roman][size=5]Team 18
7.21
No.18[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=宋体]天魔[/font][/size][size=14pt][/size]
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]There is a controversial issue about whether the government should spend money on improving roads or public transportation. According to my [i]personality[/i] (? Not apropriate) and experiences, I prefer to invest money to construct roads. In the following paragraphs I will provide concrete evidences to explain my position clearly.
For one thing, [u]it is universally acknowledged that[/u] building roads could improve our city’s current situation such as construct new road for transport, rebuild and widen the old road in order to reduce the pressure from population and cars growth. In my country, [i]there are increasing number of people have private car[/i] ([color=red]there is an increasing number of people who already have private cars[/color]) or plan to possess[color=red],[/color] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]断一下[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) although the gas price [i]are[/i] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]可以删掉，[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]continue[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]是及物动词[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) continue[color=red]s [/color]increasing. Clearly, compare to [i]change[/i] ([color=red]changing[/color]) the public transportations, building roads [i]are[/i] [color=red](is[/color]) of [color=red]more[/color] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]突出对比[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) important to the government. [Also, there are few traffic jams when the new roads have been built and few traffic accidents occurred because of the road is narrow or not flat which condition may effects the drivers’ status, especially when they are very anxiety or anger.] In terms of this situation, our government is better to invest money to improve the road condition. [/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（这个句子[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman][ ][/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]过于冗长，意思表达不清晰，改后如下）[/size][/font][size=14pt][/size]
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]Also, there will be fewer traffic jams if the new roads are constructed to meet the need of expansing transpotation. And at the some process, as the drivers will no longer be borthered by anxiety or irritation, which are caused by the unsatisfied narrow road and rough surface, the number of traffic accidents will largely decrease.[/font][/size]
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[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]For another [i]thing[/i] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]可省略，因为搭配一般是[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]for one thing, for another), although improving current situation[color=red]s[/color] is [i]the most important determine [/i]([color=red]indeed crucial[/color],[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]这样表达清晰些，简洁些[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]), it is not the only explanation for government [color=red]to[/color][i] pay money to the roads[/i] (support the road-construction). ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]上面一句可以结束了。[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) ([color=red]For another reason is that[/color]) ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]应该先解释上句：‘为什么不是唯一的原因’[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) [i]it is not exaggerating to say that[/i] [/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]without exaggeration,[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] [i]it[/i]
[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（[/size][/font][font=Times New Roman][size=14pt]the improvement of road and highways[/size][size=14pt]. [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=14pt]有点指代不清）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]also can be regard[color=red]ed [/color]as a [i]line[/i] [/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（[/size][/font][font=Times New Roman][size=14pt]benefit[/size]
[/font][font=宋体][size=14pt]你看看这样改会不会让意思顺畅一些？）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]to link city and countryside. [i]With[/i][/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]Because of the advancement of[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]modern highways,residents can easily [u]take a break to expose to fresh air in countryside[/u],[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（可以有更好的表达方法，一时想不到[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]…[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] and enjoy the [i]refresh[/i] (refresh[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]是动词，直接用[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]fresh[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]就可以了，跟前面一个重复应该没关系，做个对应[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) vegetables and seafood which [color=red]are[/color] transport[color=red]ed[/color] from various areas, even [i]different countries [/i](from abroad). It is undoubtedly [i]right[/i] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]有点多余[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]) that the roads play a significant role in our lives.
Aside from the points above, I am fully convinced that spend[color=red]ing[/color] money to public transportations also has some advantages[color=red].[/color] ([/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]两句断开比较好[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman])
There are,[color=red] for example,[/color] more [i]buses can be supply[/i] [/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]（[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]buses available[/font][/size][font=宋体][size=14pt]）[/size][/font][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] to consumers; the advanced equipment may improve the condition of the bus[color=red]es[/color], and the consumers can receive some [i]new[/i] ([color=red]higher[/color]) services. [u]Admittedly[/u], improving roads has [u]its undeniable demerits[/u]. For instance, investment is huge and the new road[color=red]s[/color] need long time to [color=red]be[/color] builded. However, [u]the advantages of improving roads carry more weight than those of investing transportations.[/u] [i]The case is rare and too weak to weaken my point.([/i][/font][/size][i][font=宋体][size=14pt]表意不清晰[/size][/font][/i][i][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman])[/font][/size][/i]
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[font=Times New Roman]From what has (have) been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the government pay[color=red]ing[/color] more money to improve roads may bring more benefits and rewards.[/font][/size]
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman][/font][/size] ON lucky_LJ
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]建议先用word差下错误，拼写也有很多都是错的，然后再贴上来吧[/font][/size]
回复 21# lucky_LJ 的帖子
请更细心的查看本帖一楼的发布规则和修改规则，谢谢，维持一个良好的团队秩序on cfcf
[b][font=Arial][size=4]ON cfcf[/size][/font][/b][b][font=Arial][size=4][/size][/font][/b]
[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4]Every day there are many traffic jams everywhere, causing great inconveniences to people’s daily lives. It has now drawn public attention to the issue of whether governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways or on public transportation. According to my experience [color=red]I prefer to invest in public transportation[/color]. [color=red](不是你自己投资，而是**投资 I think that our governments should invest more in public transportation.)[/color] [color=red]The reasons is as below. (这句话很单薄，可以省略）[/color]
First, public transportation can take more people than private car[color=red],(.)[/color] it will relieve the[color=red] traffic congestion[/color] and also can reduce the [color=red]traffic jam[/color].[color=red] ( 重复[/color] [color=red]建议改成relive the traffic congestion greatly)[/color] In China, the birth rate is continuously increasing, it brings lots social problems. One of [color=red]the[/color] biggest issue is the [color=red][u]capacity of[/u][/color] [color=red]（下划线表示删除）overloaded [/color]cities, [u][color=red]are overloaded[/color][color=red] and[/color][/u] the consequent traffic jam and the lack of parking lot. An efficient way to [color=#ff0000]reduce[/color] (ease) traffic jam is to encourage people to take public transportation [color=red]so that[/color] [color=red]( and to )[/color] improve the efficiency of transportation. Obviously, built a better public transportation systems will encourage more people to use them rather than drive their own cars. This will reduce the total amount of traffic on the roads and make travel quicker for everyone.
Second, using public transportation are better for[color=red][u] improve[/u][/color] the environment. Public transportation are clean, energy-saving and space-saving. For instance, If people all [color=red]driving （drive[/color]）their own cars,[color=red] It[/color][color=red] [/color]will release much more carbon [color=red]monoxide （dioxide）[/color] than people all taking public vehicle. [color=blue]Because a private car can only take four individuals at one time, but a bus can take at least twenty individuals. [/color][color=blue](具体数字很有说服力）
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Third, taking public transportation are much cheaper than [color=red]driving [/color]private cars. In China, private car is a rare commodity, not everyone can [color=blue]afford [/color]it. Moreover, the gas price is constantly get higher.[color=red] (这一段太单薄了）[/color]
All in all, I stand on the side of the government should spend money on improving public transportation. The government should make this world a better place to live in,[color=royalblue] [/color][color=blue]not only for ourselves, but also for future generations.[/color][/size][/font][/size]
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[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4][color=red]总结：cfcf观点表达清晰，文章结构也很好。有几个明显的问题我建议一下：[/color][/size][/font][/size]
[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4][color=red]1) 我们以前外教作文老师说过，用first，second和third的表示是初中生英文。建议变换其他的表达。[/color][/size][/font][/size]
[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4][color=#ff0000]2）两个简单句没有任何连词，而是用逗号放在一起，语法上是不对的。比如[/color][/size][/font][/size]
[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4]the birth rate is continuously increasing, it brings lots social problems. 这个句子后面的it改成which就可以。[/size][/font][/size]
[size=9pt][font=Calibri][size=4][color=red]3) 语法错误比较多。一个句子中it的使用错误重复了好几次，特别需要当心。[/color][/size][/font][/size]
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thanks FFFMZJB and Following are my reply to your comments.
1. maybe as a result is not approriate for the beginning2. most importantly is a very common expression and is equal to above all.
3. metro and subway are interchangeable. Metro can denote subway in any place.
回复 25# hh1936 的帖子
thanks for you , i wish i could learn more from you [code]Should government spend more money on improving roads and highways or should government spend more money on improving public transportation (bus, train, or subway)?
Although few people have ever owed the roads under out feet, the basic faculty is indeed the supporter of a city’s function. However, road is created for nothing but the utilization of public transportation; in another word, without those motile objects, the existence of road and highway is otiose. Therefore, to fullfill its accountability, government should spend more money on the improvment of basic public transportation rather than the construction of roads or highways.
To us residents, public transpotation has become a symbol of boon and convenience. From sunrise until sunset, from summer to winter, from the initiation of human civilization to even the end of the world, public transportation have been speeding up our pace and enhance the quality of human’s daily life. In the movie “Jane Eyre” that Jane, who flees from she and Mr. Rochester’s wedding overnight, uses the horse wagon as transportation. Even though it was much slower than the vehicles used today, horse-driving still brought people convenient. While at present, cities beleagued by viaduct and the railway of monorail are the shared view all around the world. In a word, history illuminates that the benefit public transportation, can never be replaced. Thus, as a symbol of urban life, public transportations exert tremendous influence on citizen’s daily life.
To government, meeting the essential need by improving public transportation is a sign of responsibility. To ensure social stability and city flourish, government needs to be cautious about whether every decision made will solve citizen’s problem or not. Adding more buses and trains will largely relieve the pressure of today’s transportation. The reason is that, with the expansion of population and the booming urban development, a large amount of public vehicles are to be put into use. As a result, it is undisputable that large part of the taxes should be used in the improvement to public transportation. What’s more, only the government who nourishes the sense of response, the acumen of detecting social needs and the enthusiasm to serve is qualified. Therefore, to fullfill its responsibility, government should cater to the necessity of citizens and charge more money on improving public transportation.
In addition, it is an encouragement to use public vehicle instead of private cars, which engender large amount of carbon dioxide that undermining the atmosphere. An assumption could be made that once the buses and the monorails are equipped with powerful engine, or agreeable decoration, or most importantly, the acceptable low price, they will be fascinating for local people as well as tourists. Consequently, more people will abandon the plan of buying private cars; instead, they would choose buses. In the end, far less carbon dioxide will be released and the beautiful environment can be reserved. Governments do have the power to protect the world, not merely by having those international summits and signing countless files, but by allocating more fund to the improvement of public transportation. To sum up, the support to public transportation is needed in order to protect the environment.
In conclusion, government, acting services to residents, should expense more money in the improvement of public transportation than on improving road and highways. In that case, citizens will lead a more beneficial and convenient life, and at the same time, the environment and the earth can be protected.
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[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]麻烦各位了。[/font][/size] 我可以加入你们吗？
回复 28# cxistc 的帖子
OK,come on .we are waiting for you cap 改一下我的作文页:
[1]