最后3天,作文一定要6分的,请高手看看够不够6分了
请有经验的同胞们帮我看看,最后几天我一定要好好利用了,我看了很多作文的书,writing skill, 雅思8分,十天突破,每本书都有自己的特色,但是我还是写不好,每次动笔都很矛盾,不知道要遵从哪本书的教条,有的同学说,雅思作文本来就是学术八股文,一定要参照一定的格式,但是我每次看到8分作文的范文,总是觉得他跑题了,我是不敢那么选材的,而且也没有那么丰富的词汇,这就让我每次动笔都犹豫不决, 对于这次考试,断断续续准备了很久,但是最后临考了,我还是没有招到模板,或者我从心底就不想用模板.我的作文还存在很大问题,在此只希望各位给我意见,谢谢啦!(上次考试是2008.3.8,写作5分)最重要的是,离6分还有多远??
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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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The continuing development of human history was made up of a series of transformations. Without change, it is impossible for people to enter the 21st century when advanced technology and new inventions have improved life standard to such high level. Hence, I think change is more a blessing than a curse.
Innovation and revolution pushed the society running forward. It is evident that those new ideas, from the use of fire, to invention of internet, have benefit human race a lot. On the other hand, the change happened on people’s notion about life have greatly boomed the economy; make the majority enjoy a comfortable life. In this time and age, small change in life also bring people opportunities in their life.?I%]3{Q ]"x1@7xR
A positive change on life provides people with potential chance on their career. After long staying in the same place, especially for one who doesn’t quite satisfied with his job, it is a wise decision for him to consider seriously to have a change, such as change the company, quits the job and further his study.,qt av BG9Q
It is understanding that many people hold a hostile attitude toward change, since at some extent, change means moving into a new environment, restarting and unknown challenges. What’s more, it costs time to adapt and thus it is inefficient. However, every program needs pro-investment. Without endeavor, we can achieve nothing. Once it turns to reward, the benefit would far outweigh the former loss. W+Z1S7f8c6b7HP V
To sum up, I think change has made our society a great progress and it has benefits people a lot. Even when sometimes things go out of control as a sudden change happens, it can’t be denied that we can learn from it. j/J \"f D-P*hC y
[[i] 本帖最后由 斯夫 于 2008-7-23 08:46 编辑 [/i]]
还有一篇,都是平时写了,考场上我没准还写不到这样,好担心
[b][font=Times New Roman]Many people use distance-learning programs (study material post, TV, internet…) to study at home, but others think it can not bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. Do you agree or disagree?[/font][/b]#lbpJ;g4s@^9[,u,q[font=Times New Roman] [/font]9@0eu,v H/\
[font=Times New Roman]As a second chance given by the increasing advanced technology, distance-learning fulfill people’s dream of being educated at high level. However, university has a more multi-function compared with studying at home.[/font]` |:T-J&?6B9v
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[font=Times New Roman]University is a society in miniature, which not only provides us with theoretical knowledge, but also gives us closer access to real practices through various activities and competitions. Yet it may be true that on-line service also affords simulating practice through internet, a lack of face-to-face communication would be the inevitable shortage. What’s more, with other classmates being together, students can improve their interpersonal skills by cooperating with each other. On the other hand, distance-learning program won’t be as efficient as attending a university.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]At most circumstance, distance-learning is low efficient. Learners are easily interrupted by their families, or a sudden call. Being tied by house chores, one can hardly focus on their studying, which directly turn the convenience into an obstacle. On the other hand, without supervision and encouragement, it is hard for learners to keep strong motivation and inspirations. Once this happens, they can hardly continue the study process. Admittedly, every cloud has a sliver lining, for people who can not enter the university; distance-learning is a quite good choice.[/font]@#j1|d-a[7[,Z
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[font=Times New Roman]With numerous resources on the internet, people cross the entire field get equal access to the internet after paid. They can adjust the time easily according to their own schedule, which is most valued by employees working in the company. For those people who missed their chance to the university and desired to continue further education, it is a big present to realize their dream through internet. [/font]W9t&hcQc
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[font=Times New Roman]To conclude, I think learning in university has obvious beneficial whist taking distance-learning program can also give people a second chance to access further education, yet we should consider both advantages and disadvantaged when make decisions.[/font] on the other hand前面必须有一个on one hand。
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你知道happen on这个词组是什么意思么……
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boom？还是用boost 吧……
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...the economy; make the majority enjoy a comfortable life. ……逗号后面的make能用原型么？而且这个表达，不是很拿分#d8T YKH1hg
majority这个词很controversial，换一个吧_"kX9U \ nl1t0O
small change in life also bring people opportunities in their life. 最基本的第三人称单数问题……而且这句写的好突兀啊A8|+?t `1t'?t
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who doesn’t quite satisfied with his job……自己看你的时态问题2n Qw} N`e \
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such as change the company, quits the job and further his study……全都应该是动名词。这且不说，居然有一个加了s，两个没加，这是想什么呢？;NJ6xA#m
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这个前面的那个主句，都已经decision了，还consider什么啊……consider to do...我是没见过有这么用的m)G5d{1B A
change means moving into a new environment, restarting and unknown challenges……并列格式的一致性。前面两个都是动名词，最后一个就必须也是动名词
it costs time to adapt and thus it is inefficient.……居然是两个it做主语的短句...从句比两个并列短句要好得多
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pro-investment??你确定不是pre-investment么？？？ program又是哪来的？没有上下文，很难受啊
benefit would far outweigh the former loss.……former不是这么用的…
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it has benefits people a lot……你这到底是现在完成时还是一般现在时？？！！4j c1gq2q
最后一句…你的逻辑gone with the wind…… 我不是作文高手，写的还不如楼主，仔细看了第一篇，觉得肯定有6分了。 多谢指教...的确有很多问题,我用词似乎很不谨慎,考场上想必有更多不小心的错误,非常感谢楼上的意见和批评! 真的很担心还要考第三次,上次就是因为作文只有5,把分拉下来了...
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