Tony教授作文修改大贴!-可以修改口语录音！！
[color=magenta][color=navy][color=navy][size=6][b]TONY教授的网站（[url=http://www.tonyjiaoshou.com]www.tonyjiaoshou.com[/url]）因故障暂时不能登录，请大家相互转告；由此带来的不便，请各位谅解，谢谢大家一直以来的支持！[/b][/size][/color][/color][/color]
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[/color][/size][/color][/size][color=red][color=red][font=宋体][b][size=4][size=12pt][size=6]（最新更新）[/size]最近帖子里的文章特别多，每天都会有四五十篇，顺序很乱，我经常漏掉一些文章，而且每天都要花很长时间来找新放上来的文章。前段时间我向大家征求建议解决这个问题，有位同学建议我可以自己做个简单的网站，自己控制一些设置，所以我做了自己的网站[/size][url=http://www.tonyjiaoshou.com/]www.tonyjiaoshou.com[/url][size=12pt]，我已经把博客上的东西都移到网站上，以后不会再更新博客了，谢谢大家关注！[/size][/size][/b][/font][/color][/color]
[font=宋体][color=red][font=宋体][size=12pt][b][size=4]在新网站上我可以直接搜到没有修改的文章，不会漏掉大家的作文；大家也可以只看自己的文章和修改后的文章，不用一页一页的找。我觉得新网站效率更高，所以每天我会先改新网站上的文章。当然我也会继续在这个帖子里修改，只是可能不能每天都修改。大家可以把作文放到我的新网站上，也可以继续放在这里。如果非常急的话，建议发到我的新网站上。[/size][/b][/size][/font][/color][/font][i][color=blue]
[/color][/i][size=4][color=red][b]我的另外几个帖子：[/b][/color]
[/size][color=red][b][size=4]1 [/size][url=http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1264521-1-1.html][size=4]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1264521-1-1.html[/size][/url]
[/b][/color]
[size=4][color=red][b] 写作方法指导贴，适用于：1.[/b][/color][color=red][b]对写作方向不是很明确 2[/b][/color][/size][size=4][color=red][b].准备时间不多 3.有兴趣的同学
强烈推荐这个方法。可能很长，题目很多，很多人没有耐心看完， 但是这个方法真的很管用。[/b][/color][/size][color=red][b]
[size=4]2 [/size][url=http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1269052-1-8.html][size=4]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1269052-1-8.html[/size][/url]
[size=4] 写作思路指导贴，适用于； [/size][/b][/color][size=4][color=red][b]1.[/b][/color][color=red][b]对某些题目不知道怎么写 2[/b][/color][/size][size=4][color=red][b].准备时间不多，只希望看一下写作提纲
如果你对某个题目怎么写不确定，一定在写之前到这个帖子里看看，或者提问。这样你就不会走弯路，节省很多时间。
3 [/b][/color][/size][b][color=red][url=http://www.tonyjiaoshou.com][size=4]www.tonyjiaoshou.com[/size][/url]
[size=4][color=red][b] 我的网站，包括作文修改、写作训练营、语法知识、写作指导、翻译，还有我花了几天时间做出来的video[/b][/color]
[color=red][b] 我正在更新我的网站，希望大家能多提建议。去看我网站的同学们记得留言，告诉我我应该在网站上添加什么内容，或者你希望看到哪些方面的内容，比如电影或者其他的东 西。谢谢大家！！！[/b][/color]::16[/size][/color][/b]
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[color=black][size=4]很多人问写的作文能得多少分，[color=darkred]我新加了一个评分，但[/color][/size][/color][/color][/b][size=4][color=darkred][b]不是按托福标准的分数[/b][/color][/size][b][color=red][size=4][color=black][color=darkred]， 只是我自己的一个标准[/color]，不准确的话大家可以跳过 [/color]::16
[color=black]总分5分，下面是标准：[/color]
[/size][/color][/b][size=4]5-Perfect, high level native writing style
4-Very good, logic isclear and give good examples. However, you make some small mistakes ingrammar and punctuation that can be easily corrected.
3-Writingshows a lot of potential, but you still need to work on sentencestructure and clarity. Also need to refresh yourself on some grammarand punctuation rules. Your level can improve but you need time toapply everything in the right way.
2- Still a beginning writer andneed to make sentences flow better and follow a logical pattern. Youhave inconsistent grammar problems as well as problems conjugatingwords correctly
1-You need to review basic sentence grammar andbasic punctuation. Also word choice and word selection is a problem.Examples used in sentences don't accurately reflect main ideas.[/size]
[b][color=red][size=4][color=black]5－非常好，水平很高，接近母语[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]
[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]4－优秀，逻辑清楚，举例恰当，但语法或标点有些小问题[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]
[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]3－在写作上有很大的潜力， 但在句子结构上仍需要多加练习， 注意表达清楚。 在语法和标点上也需要进一步提高。如果能正确运用这些东西， 你的写作水平会有很大的提高。[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]
[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]2－写作新手，需要通过练习使 语句更加流畅，逻辑更加清楚。在语法和连词的使用上还有一些问题。[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]
[/color][/size][size=4][color=black]1－你需要重点学习基本的语法和标点使用。 在词语的选择和使用上存在问题。文中选用的例子并没有准确地证明你的观点。[/color][/size]
[color=blue]ibt考试版链接： [url=http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1257912-1-1.html]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1257912-1-1.html[/url][/color][/color][/b]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2010-3-9 17:10 编辑 [/i]] [size=3]1．IEFLS[/size]
[b][size=3]In order to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]Follow the science development,the communication of global is becoming more and more easily.
[color=#0044fe](ok, if you want to use any verb to begin a sentence, you need to ask yourself, “is this word describing past, present, future, or a continuing tense?”
When I say continuing, I mean is the word that you are using describing something that is being done now and will continue to be done in the future.
If so, then your verb NEEDS to have “-ing” as this form represents the continuing tense.
So “follow” needs to become following.
Another big problem students in China have, and that’s not putting adjectives and the words they describe closer together.
For example, what is “communication of global???”
Of course you want to say, global communication. Finally easily is not the word you want.
It should be EASIER) [/color]It means, all kind of countries has larger contact than before. Ineluctability, learning foreign language is the most easy [color=#0044fe](EASIEST)[/color] way to know outside world. But study language obvious not only just learning simply language, but also is learning the cultures of this language.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Some students believe that if they really want learning a kind of language well,learning the cultures and speak styles is a very much important way. A growing of language clearly depend on their culture. A kind of language crosses long time, through age-old histories, slowly and slowly to be a language what we can speak and we see now. The relationship between culture and language is closely and cannot parted. Therefore those people agree with learning language while try to know cultures and lifestyles. [color=#0044fe](If you use a direct example here, it would make your writing much stronger)[/color][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]But the others- who suggest that learning a kind of language just need to learning how to use it- are still keep their theory. They points out, language is just a tool of communication. two people who use the same language and understand each other,this is the successful. People just know how to use it, indeed how to use it well, this is totally enough. Let professional language researcher to find culture is rather than normal language user does.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Both two points are running together, but the first one is clearly better than another. Language is a charming and mistery thing. Just hold how to use is far away. If you really want to understand what is language want to tell you, try to contact its culture is really necessary. [color=#0044fe](Look, the number one rule with writing in English is never make people try to guess what you are thinking or intending to say.
(I have no idea what “both two points running together “ are...is it a race or some kind of contest?
Also don’t try and introduce any new information in the conclusion.
The purpose of the conclusion is to wrap things up and summarize what we know from your previous statements. )[/color] [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#ff2712][size=3](Your writing is moving in the right direction, just need to continue practicing and asking yourself relevant questions after each sentence.)
[/size][/color] [size=3]2. IBT[/size]
[b][size=3]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]In a modern society, people always
face the discussion that
people are never satisfied with what they have . [color=#0044fe](Your introduction sentence is not bad, just try to be conscious of not repeating words unnessarily)[/color]
In my opinion, I agree
[color=#0044fe](with)[/color] the view partly that they always want something more or something different. There are some reasons and examples
to
explain my main view.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]As we know, it is our part of nature that we want to have something we do not have or something we think better. [color=#0044fe](Ok, I’m not quite sure what you mean by “part of nature.”
Do you mean that it’s natural for us to want things we don’t have?) [/color]
For example, when you are a child and have some sisters or brothers, the parents give each of you a toy that is different with each other. [color=#0044fe](Alright, be consistent, if you give an example saying, “when you are a child,” do you also use, “the parents?” Of course not...remember to be consistent within your sentences: you...your) [/color]Then it will happen that you want to play with your
sister's or brother's toy because you think theirs must be more beautiful than yours.[/size]
[size=3]However, I do not agree that everyone will be the same as they are children.
[color=#0044fe](When proofreading your own writing, if your sentences don’t flow easily, then there usually is a problem)[/color]. When we grow, we will learn a lot of knowledge and know that we should not covet other's things, so we can control our mind and orexis. That's why our society can go on
for so many years.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]On the other hand, this orexis
is also a drive. We are dissatisfied with our condition, so we should work and study hard in order to have chance to realize our dream. In this sense, it is also a dive that makes our society go ahead.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]In conclusion, based on the reasons I discussed above, we can see that people usually are disstisfied with their lives and want to have more money or more other things, but they should achieve the purpose through their hard work.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#ff2712][size=3](Writing shows great potential, just need to work out the problems mentioned above.
Also your conclusion is not bad based on many of the other essays I have read on this forum.)[/size][/color] [size=3]3. IBT[/size]
[b][size=3]Build a large shopping center in your neighborhood[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]When hearing the news that a very large shopping center would be built in our community, I am really happy and can not wait to see the day when my dream comes true.
It is my dream that is deeply rooted in our community's dream, because we hope that we can lead a better life after the large shopping center is built.
[color=#0044fe](Ok)[/color][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]residents living inour community will have enjoy the convenience the shopping center brings to .Without the large shopping center ,it costs me nearly two hours to get to the nearest shopping center from my home. In this case, I think that the project of building a large shopping center in my neighborhood will benefit us a lot. What’s more, because of the new shopping center I will have much more free time to spend with my family members, like my wife, my children and so on.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The new shopping center will provide us cheaper and more healthy products. The new large shopping center will take the place of the previous small shops and groceries which played very important roles in our community.Since the large shopping center has a relatively lower costs compared with its counterparts.it will provide us cheaper goods.As a member of middle classes, our family can really enjoy this significant benifet with most residents in our community.Additionally,because of the larger comsuptions the new shopping center will import the products far more rapidly than the small stores in our community now.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Lastly,I believe that it will help reduce the stress from employment and help solve the tough problem in our society.As far as I know,the larger the size of shops is,the more poeple it will employ. The large shopping center gives the youth who are eager to find a job a great opportunity to broaden their horizons and improve their own personal ability to tackle problems as well as learn how to make decisions.These career skills will help them a lot in the future of their career paths.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#ff2712][size=3](Ok, I feel your ideas are clear, but just the writing is kind of sloppy.
Too many unnecessary grammar errors and your writing is assuming too much.
For example, you know there will be a shopping center coming to your town, but that’s it.
With your writing you say (as if you have the foreknowledge) that the center will have this and do that...
It’s better for you to be a bit more objective and use words like “could” and “should.”
This will help to balance your writing and give it more objectivity.
A lot of potential.)[/size][/color] [size=3]4. IBT[/size]
[b][size=3]Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. [/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]Recently, an investigation about whether it is a good idea for young adults to be indispensible [color=#0044fe](wrong word)[/color] from their parents as soon as possible was held on our campus. The result showed that more than eighty percent of the interviewers [color=#0044fe](interviewers CONDUCT interviews, so no one cares what they think.
you want to say INTERVIEWEES)[/color] strongly agreed with this idea. On the contrary, arguing for living with family with longer time were those who insisted that young people should take care of their old parents. According to my own views, I am quiet coincident [color=#0044fe](this is not English.
you can say that you are “in agreement with”) [/color]with most people, I believe that early dependence can be great helpful for our development. [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]As far as I’m concerned, considerable though the advantages that living with families for a longer time enjoys are, they can not be comparable with the benefits of early dependence, especially when personal spaces and development are taken into consideration. Take Obama, the well-known first African American President of USA, for instance. Although it was not due to his own inclination, it was really his early dependence that provided him with a chance to think about his future without much disturbance from his family. He created his own dream and finally made it come true, which ascribed firstly to his self-realization. Had he lived with his family until the beginning of work like most other young adults, he would not have the achievement he enjoys today.
[color=#0044fe](my goodness...are you a fortune teller?
If you want to make statements like this, make sure it’s very clear that the statement is true.
For example, “the sky is blue,” and “laughter can work like medicine to cheer up a lonely heart.”
These are statements that can be easily proven or seen as true.
When you use subjective examples, such as being raised in a certain kind of environment, there are too many outside factors that can influence the outcome.
Because of this, your example is weak, not strong at all. ) [/color]Actually human’s history abounds with this kind of examples, the narration of Obama is not isolated. [/size]
[size=3]What’s more, besides the importance of personal development areas, I argue for my idea for another reason. As it is inevitable for people to be independent from their families sooner or later, why don’t we take fully advantage of the exhaustless vigor and stamina that almost exclusively belong to our young people to create our own lives?
[color=#0044fe](I have no idea what you are saying here. I just can’t understand the meaning)[/color] The older we are, the less passion or energy we would have to do so. I deem that staying with family for a longer time will make young people tend to feel easy with the current environment, eliminating the power to march forward. [color=#0044fe](Remember you are arguing for one point by saying it’s better than another...but don’t forget to say WHY it’s better)[/color]. [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]While on the other hand, we have to admit that staying with families are really of substantial importance to both our family members and ourselves. Isn’t it essential for us to take more consideration of our families while we are struggling outside? We young people should regularly go back to families to give our parents more spiritual comfort, and in the meantime, help them with some family chores of course.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Considering of all that have been discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that young adults should be indispensible from their families earlier, ensuring more personal places and passions of self-realization and the ability to be dependent. And our family members can also share our enjoyment of success as well, which will make them tend to feel more happiness.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#ff2712][size=3](Again, another essay with much potential but there is a very strong reliance on Mo Ban.
I agree that Mo Ban can be very helpful, but if 100,000 people are using the same Mo Ban, and I’ve seen these before so many times, it will take something away from your writing.
So, use the Mo Ban, but modify them slightly so they reflect your personal style. )[/size][/color] [size=3]5. IBT[/size]
[b][size=3]Dancing plays an important role in a culture[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]The word culture throughout the whole world consists of so many aspects ,such as language custome, religional faith etc. Or to some extent it is made up of almost every aspect in our lives Undoubtfully dancing is one of the important parts of it .As far as I am conerned ,dancing perfermances [color=#0044fe](I would suggest using the word, EMBODIES)[/color] at least three facets in a culture ,which I am going to set forth :expressing emotion , preservering heritage and showing personality .[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Dancing has always occupied a high position in a culture for it does have its usage to show one `s emotion .For a dancer, dancing has the same meaning which an article has for a writer in showing his anger ,sadness, happiness and so on .This sort of body language frequently gives the onlooker a sign of a special culture .For example ,in my country ,china, especially the rural region as I used to live in .When there is holding a wedding ceremony [color=#0044fe](Better to use the word, DURING)[/color] ,a dancing troupe will be invited to highlighten the atmosphere .Here dancing that shows happiness is an important part of a rural wedding culture.
[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]In addition ,dancing is also a usual and excellent way in successing [color=#0044fe](this is not a word.
try showcasing)[/color] an ethnic custom .Dancing[/size]
[size=3]exerts its influence on such as festivals and sacrifices.In festevials ,specially ,people are often dancing to show their customs as a heritage as yangker did in Chinese new year. Otherwise it is widely accepted that people frequently dance to memory[color=#0044fe] (probably use the words, “honor” or “pay their respects to”)[/color] their ancenstors in a sacrifice ceremony .Thanks to the activity of dancing , a good deal racial culture has been well succeed in the process .[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Futher more ,nowadays ,dancing is becoming increasingly an important tool to show one`s (most are youngsters) personality .An obvious current around us is that more and more young people are willing to learn hip-pop .Because hip-pop is a good way of venting up their passionate ,rebelious fashion or something about nature that can not be definitely told .By dancing together they form a special group with special culture . In a football match as well ,we often get the experience that an athlete makes his own style of dance on the piont he kicked a goal .That is something dancing showing his individual culture .[/size]
[size=3]][/size]
[size=3]Taking in to account of all above ,we may safely draw the conclusion that dancing does act the important part in a culture .Many times we learn a something of a culture though its relation dances[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#d90b00][size=3]You did a good job with your examples, but again, your grammar is your downfall.
Correct spelling and verb usage can do wonders for your writing.
You can make big improvements in a short time if you pay slightly more attention to your grammar.[/size][/color] [size=3]6. IBT[/size]
[b][size=3]Do you agree or disagree with the statement that school should spend more time teaching specific knowledge for career or jobs instead of general subjects?[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]The debate on whether schools should teach more specific knowledge rather than variety subjects to their students can always provoke widespread interest. Those who object to it argue that learning much other scientific or literal field may help students broaden their horizons. However, people who advocate it, on the other hand, claim that that could disturb students' attention from their major.
[color=#0044fe](This sentence is slightly confusing.
In the second sentence you gave a counter example to the first sentence.
In the third sentence you support the first sentence by trying to say why the second sentence is wrong but it’s not very clear.
Again, don’t make the reader “guess” what you want to say.
good writing is clear and concise. ) [/color]
saying From my perspective, I strongly agree with the idea that school should put more specialized courses into the syllabus, because that brings benefits, no matter to their own careers or to the whole society.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]We all understand that specialty occupies an increasingly significant position in personal development. There are thousands of examples illustrate this argument. For example, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, the founders of the Google Inc., were both studying for doctorates in computer science at Stanford University in 1995. Their peerless achievement attributes to their outstanding ability on search engine technology. Besides, those who can decide whether an applicant could be employed prefer people who have excellent performances in their major. In short, focusing on one major subject could lead students to successful career.
[color=#0044fe](Better to say, “focusing on specific/applied courses within one’s major can lead to...)[/color][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]As far as I am concerned, our society also requires numerous specialists. The features of social division of labor require that we excel in one area, so that we can survive in this era of professionalism. What's more, only when we are energetic in one subject, can we learn and master it well, making more contribution to the society. In conclusion, schools have the responsibility to educate more specialists for the society. [color=#0044fe](Ok, you are saying three different things in this paragraph: society needs more specialists, being active in one subject helps with learning, and schools have a responsibility to create more specialists.
You need to tie these ideas together better as their connection is not very clear.
Does one lead to the other?
Just need to make it more clear)[/color][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Admittedly, learning more about other subjects could enlarge students’ view of the world. The more knowledge we gain, the better we will improve our personal quality: creativity, confidence, music, books etc! And all these are very important aspects of one's life. However, one's ultimate success relies heavily upon his excellence in his area of expertise. Therefore, I hold a strong positive attitude toward learn more about one single subject.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]To sum up, we have to admit that school, especially the university and college school, should teach more about students' specialty, considering the benefits being brought to both their career and the progressing of society.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=12pt]This essay is fine, just i feel some of the thoughts are not very clear.
It might be from overconfidence.
Remember, after each sentence you write, you need to ask yourself questions regarding clarity.
If you do this a bit more, you will be just fine.
[/size] [size=3]7. IETLS[/size]
[b][size=3]Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.[/size][/b]
[b][size=3]To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.[/size][/b]
[b][size=3] [/size][/b]
[size=3]Recognized as the most popular sport game in the world, football exerts profound impact on modern society, gaining much more attention from the public than before. In the meantime, whether international sporting occasions such as football world Cup can create a harmonious phenomenon among different nations has triggered heated debate in the public, some of whom assert that carrying out such kind of events can be an effective way to cope with international tensions and express patriotic emotions safely. As far as I am concerned, I can agree with their view, but with reservations. [color=#0044fe](Ok, not bad)[/color][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Convincing the argument can be made that international sporting events bring numerous benefit, one of which is promoting the cultural communication and interaction.
[color=#0044fe](Ok, not sure what you mean by “convincing the argument.”
I have no idea what you want to say) [/color]
It is hard for individuals, more often than not, to judge a different culture or race without personal emotions and misunderstanding. Only when contacting with it can people sheer discard these inaccurate emotions. For instance, when the football World Cup is hold, thousands of tourists and athletes come to the host country. Living in a foreign country for several weeks, people are better able to get acquainted with a different culture and race, thereby making contribution to ease international tension. Moreover, another advantage can be described as that, instead of violence and sabotage, people can release their patriotic emotions by cheering for their team, wearing representative clothing and waving flags. As a result, many conflicts can be effectively avoided. Last but not the least, even though there are still many wars and conflicts around the world, in Olympic game whose principle is “fair competition”, people shake hands and give hugs to their competitors who may be their enemies at the other side of the world. There are no political and racial barriers in this game. In a sense, the game has acquired a value beyond its original definition as the human spirit’s longing for peace and goodwill.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Wonderful as the
international sporting affairs are, they may become disasters, when one takes into account the security. This is due to the fact that international events have been a main target of Illegal organizations for long. A case in point is the riots and fighting that often occur at World Cup and Olympic game. While the event render the host country focus of the world, it can also be a disaster when the terrorist attack happens.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]On the basis of the above discussion, I would concede that international sporting affairs are not without its adverse effects. Despite that, the benefits created by these events far overweigh the flaws. Overall, I am convinced that these events will play an increasingly pivotal role in our way to a peace world. It calls for our concentration on it.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#ff2712][size=3](Alright, I didn’t say a lot about this essay b/c I feel it has some potential, but I feel each paragraph has a life of its own...as if each paragraph was written by a different person.
This might not be the case, but the 3rd paragraph seems to be incomplete...as if the writer just got tired of writing and just wrote anything.
Your start was strong, but you need to show the same detail to all your points if possible.
Remember you will be evaluated on your consistency.
Also be very careful about your verb tense.
This can make even the best of writing look bad).[/size][/color] 6.21的托福 教授给改改吧，谢谢
106. You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice.
If I need to travel from my home to a place 40 miles away, I would like to choose to my own car. There are several reasons for that.
Firstly, my modern car is very comfortable. There is air conditioner to keep the temperature constant, which is useful particularly in bad weather like cold or hot day. Not like the foot trip, you have to tolerate the weather heat or chilly wind. Secondly, my car has modern entertainment facilities such as CDs and radios. During my trip, I can enjoy the pop music or listen to the latest news to kill the time. On the contrary, if the transportation I depend on is train or bus, the crowded people and the noisy environment will make me uncomfortable and unhappy. Thirdly, driving my own car can save the time which the bus or the train has to take to buy the ticket or stop at the stations. I can make my own schedule to do my business there. Maybe, after I arrive at my destination, I can drive my friends or families to the garden parks to play or some restaurants to eat delicious dinner. It will be such easy and enjoyable time. We don't have to take a taxi or afraid of the last bus when time is late. Finally, due to my new driving license, I need to practice to perfect my driving skills. This is a very good chance for me. Also, the distance of my trip is not too long and very suit for me who is a novice to drive.
All in all, compared to the other transportation ways, considering the good merits of the driving by my own car, I definitely would like to travel from my home to a place 40 miles away by my own car. IELTS
Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle.We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recent years have witnessed a worsening trend in environment. Many countries, whether affluent or impoverished, are stuck in their inabilities to intervene in world affairs to solve environmental problems, which has drawn widespread attention. Meanwhile, a general view of this issue has arisen that only by establishing international organizations can environmental hazards be handled. As far as I am concerned, I do not believe it is the best or only way to protect the environment.
It is certainly no denying that international groups involved with environmental hazards to some extent may bring down the number and alleviate the damages of these problems. Besides, it is also an effective way by which countries join forces make a concerted effort unite to put forward an incentive to the solutions.
However, we shall never ignore the flaws, a noteworthy one of which is members’ consciousness of environmental protection. Their willingness to combat the hazards, more often than not, are largely depend on their economic power, in which case, some members like poor countries may not willing to put much effort into their work and it will cause the members with whom they are cooperating with feel frustrate and stop their work, too. Therefore, the work necessitates a collective goal rather than a nominal joint group. Human activities being the root cause of the deteriorating phenomenon, people should not only cope with the troubles afterwards but prevent them. As a matter of fact, environmental problems cannot be forbidden without stringent laws and bans against pollution. Laws and bans being carried out around the world, any potential ill-feeling will be nipped in the bud before it comes true. Furthermore, in today’s society, international groups have been inaccurately defined as nothing other than a remediation, which intent to instill a notion into individuals that someone will repair their irresponsible activities. What is needed, to amend this improper view, is education. Only when the awareness of environmental protection is firmly embedded in people’s mind can problems hopefully be eliminated.
From the analysis given above, it is not true to say that combating issues at an international level is the only way to lessen the hazards. As well as international organizations, stringent laws, bans and education are also necessary. Combined with multiple solutions, international groups will drive us human to success more.
[[i] 本帖最后由 akari01 于 2009-6-3 15:19 编辑 [/i]] [color=red]To wcliu-2008[/color]
[color=red]sorry a little late::z1
[/color][color=red][size=12pt]Ok, you did a good job. Your writing is pretty clear and there are some good examples.
It’s a bit short, but you answer the question.
My main suggestion would be to break the essay up into appropriate paragraphs covering new ideas/concepts.
This will make things more readable and give a more professional appearance to your work.[/size][/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-3 17:02 编辑 [/i]]
回复 10# akari01 的帖子
[size=3]Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle.We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?[/size][size=3][/size]
[size=3]Recent years have witnessed a worsening trend in environment. Many countries, whether affluent or impoverished, are stuck in their inabilities to intervene in world affairs to solve environmental problems, which has drawn widespread attention. Meanwhile, a general view of this issue has arisen that only by establishing international organizations can environmental hazards be handled. As far as I am concerned, I do not believe it is the best or only way to protect the environment. [color=#2e6ffd](Ok, there may be a misunderstanding about what the question is asking.
Actually you don’t need to argue that international organizations need to be created.
But, you can go this route if you like; however, you might be making more work for yourself.)[/color][/size]
[size=3][/size]
[size=3]It is certainly [color=#2e6ffd](It should read, “There is certainly...”)[/color] no denying that international groups involved with environmental hazards to some extent may bring down the number and alleviate the damages of these problems. Besides, it is also an effective way by which countries join forces make a concerted effort unite to put forward an incentive to the solutions.[/size]
[size=3]However, we shall never ignore the flaws, a noteworthy one of which is members’ consciousness of environmental protection. Their willingness to combat the hazards, more often than not, are largely depend on their economic power, in which case, some members like poor countries may not willing to put much effort into their work and it will cause the members with whom they are cooperating with feel frustrate and stop their work, too. Therefore, the work necessitates a collective goal rather than a nominal joint group. Human activities being the root cause of the deteriorating phenomenon, people should not only cope with the troubles afterwards but prevent them. As a matter of fact, environmental problems cannot be forbidden without stringent laws and bans against pollution. Laws and bans being carried out around the world, any potential ill-feeling will be nipped in the bud before it comes true. Furthermore, in today’s society, international groups have been inaccurately defined as nothing other than a remediation, which intent to instill a notion into individuals that someone will repair their irresponsible activities. What is needed, to amend this improper view, is education. Only when the awareness of environmental protection is firmly embedded in people’s mind can problems hopefully be eliminated. [/size]
[size=3]From the analysis given above, it is not true to say that combating issues at an international level is the only way to lessen the hazards. As well as international organizations, stringent laws, bans and education are also necessary. Combined with multiple solutions, international groups will drive us human to success more.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]I think you did a good job of expressing that nations should assume personal responsibility for the territories they govern.
However, your argument against approaching environmental problems from a multi-national stand point is not so effective.
This might be a result of your interpretation of the question.
If you took a more simple approach and just listed why countries should take personal responsibility, and then listed why outside involvement could undermine those efforts that may result in, for example, a shirking of personal responsibility, then your argument would be much clearer.
[/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3] [/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]One of the biggest problems students in China repeatedly face is a misunderstanding of the essay question.
When this happens, you begin to lead your argument further and further away from what is being asked.
It’s ok to take a minute or two to make sure you are very clear about what the question is asking.
This can prevent you from having a big headache later down the road.
[/size][/color][size=10pt][/size]
. [b][color=red]TO wcliu-2008[/color][/b]
[size=3]•[/size]
[size=3]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is nothing that young people can teach older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. [/size]
[size=3]•[/size]
[size=3]•Although the older people possess experiences and knowledge more than the younger people [color=#0044fe](because “younger people” is not referring to a very specific group of people, don’t use “the.”
Just say, “more than younger people...”)[/color], this does not mean that there is nothing that young people can teach older people. Actually, the younger people [color=#0044fe](same problem)[/color] have their own merits and advantages over the older one.[/size]
[size=3]•Firstly, young people are naturally curious and have more energy to concentrate on what they are interested in. Only if they have their dreams, such as becoming a mathematician, engineering workers (engineers) or even voting for the president of their country, although some older people perceive their dream as ridiculous thinking and hard to realize, the younger people [color=#2e6ffd](same problem)[/color] just believe themselves and have great confidence and so try their best to achieve their goal. Although their dreams are seldom accomplished, their motivation and brave spirit should be learned by the older people. Because the older people suffered more [color=#0044fe](probably the word, “suffer” is too serious in this case.
Try using a softer word. How do you know they suffered?
Perhaps you mean that b/c “older people have endured more setbacks in their lives, by virtue of their age, they might be less likely to have optimistic tendencies when....)[/color]experiences than the younger, when they encounter some stiff problems or some difficult situations, they can always adopt relatively appropriate or traditional methods. However, the traditional thought for the older people always have some fatal weakness, which is lack of the creativity and originality. The younger people are full of imaginary ideas and like to ask why for everything. They would like to look at some phenomena in different ways. [/size]
[size=3]•[/size]
[size=3]•Secondly, the younger [color=#0044fe](same problem) [/color]people absorb the latest knowledge such as computation skills or modern culture much faster than the older people [color=#2e6ffd](same problem)[/color]. Some older people sometimes have to ask for the younger people to teach them and let them tell the procedure of starting a computer or emailing to their friends in details. As the quick development of the economy and the culture for the country, some older people especially for the aged, they can not catch up with the pace of the society any more because of their decaying memory and inefficient function of their tissues. From this perspective, the older people [color=#2e6ffd](same problem) [/color]have more knowledge to learn than the younger people, which strongly support my opinion that I disagree there is nothing that young people can teach older people. [/size]
[size=3]•All in all, although the older people [color=#2e6ffd](same problem)[/color] have enough experience and a good amount of worldly knowledge with reference to society, which does not mean that there is nothing that young people can teach older people. Actually, younger people have some advanced advantages over the older people, like curiosity, brave spirit and possessing the newest technology, which the older people do not possess. So the older people should also learn from the people who are younger than them.[/size]
[size=3][/size]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]Okay, you have some good examples, but there are some grammar issues you need to deal with.
Here is a tip you can use next time:[/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3][/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]When to use The, A, and An[/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]Use "a" or "an" with nouns that are not plural.
You do this when you mean "one of several," "any," or "in general."[/size][/color]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]Use "the"
when you want to express a SPECIFIC noun.
If it is special or the only one.
[/size][/color]
[size=3][/size]
[color=#dd2067][size=3]Good Luck with your writing![/size][/color] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]•
IETLS
Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle.We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recent years have witnessed a worsening trend in environment. Many countries, whether affluent or impoverished, are stuck in their inabilities to intervene in world affairs to solve environmental problems, which has drawn widespread attention. Meanwhile, a general view of this issue has arisen that only by establishing international organizations can environmental hazards be handled. As far as I am concerned, I do not believe it is the best or only way to protect the environment. [/size][/font][size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=#2e6ffd](Ok, there may be a misunderstanding about what the question is asking.
Actually you don’t need to argue that international organizations need to be created.
But, you can go this route if you like; however, you might be making more work for yourself.)[/color]
It is certainly [color=#2e6ffd](It should read, “There is certainly...”)[/color] no denying that international groups involved with environmental hazards to some extent may bring down the number and alleviate the damages of these problems. Besides, it is also an effective way by which countries join forces make a concerted effort unite to put forward an incentive to the solutions.
However, we shall never ignore the flaws, a noteworthy one of which is members’ consciousness of environmental protection. Their willingness to combat the hazards, more often than not, are largely depend on their economic power, in which case, some members like poor countries may not willing to put much effort into their work and it will cause the members with whom they are cooperating with feel frustrate and stop their work, too. Therefore, the work necessitates a collective goal rather than a nominal joint group. Human activities being the root cause of the deteriorating phenomenon, people should not only cope with the troubles afterwards but prevent them. As a matter of fact, environmental problems cannot be forbidden without stringent laws and bans against pollution. Laws and bans being carried out around the world, any potential ill-feeling will be nipped in the bud before it comes true. Furthermore, in today’s society, international groups have been inaccurately defined as nothing other than a remediation, which intent to instill a notion into individuals that someone will repair their irresponsible activities. What is needed, to amend this improper view, is education. Only when the awareness of environmental protection is firmly embedded in people’s mind can problems hopefully be eliminated.
From the analysis given above, it is not true to say that combating issues at an international level is the only way to lessen the hazards. As well as international organizations, stringent laws, bans and education are also necessary. Combined with multiple solutions, international groups will drive us human to success more.
[/font][/size][size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=#dd2067]I think you did a good job of expressing that nations should assume personal responsibility for the territories they govern.
However, your argument against approaching environmental problems from a multi-national stand point is not so effective.
This might be a result of your interpretation of the question.
If you took a more simple approach and just listed why countries should take personal responsibility, and then listed why outside involvement could undermine those efforts that may result in, for example, a shirking of personal responsibility, then your argument would be much clearer.
[/color]
[color=#dd2067][/color]
[/font][/size][color=magenta][size=12pt][font=Times New Roman][color=#dd2067]One of the biggest problems students in China repeatedly face is a misunderstanding of the essay question.
When this happens, you begin to lead your argument further and further away from what is being asked.
It’s ok to take a minute or two to make sure you are very clear about what the question is asking.
This can prevent you from having a big headache later down the road.
[/color][size=10pt][/size]
[/font][/size][/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-4 10:57 编辑 [/i]]
回复 5# Tony教授 的帖子
Thank you!what a good advice!
I will pay more attention to this problem when I am writting. 我的作文，麻烦教授帮忙看看。托付作文。Thank you
[code]
TOPIC: Agree or disagree：Young people enjoy life better than the older people.
WORDS: 414 TIME: 0:30:00 DATE: 2009-5-23
It is not an overstatement that the increasingly development of technology and society had changed the lives of one generation. Young people in this generation know much about how to enjoy their lives than older people. It is because not only they have more time, better mental and physical energy, but also they know how to benefit from the new technology.
First, being avoid of responsibilities and pressures of making living for the whole family, young people possess much time, so that they can participate in any kinds of recreation to enjoy their lives. Old people are usually occupying by numerous matters on hand and also the following stress, thus they don't have extra time to consider how to make their lives more enjoyable and colorful. Young people, like most of my friends, on the other hand, are always thinking and discussing new sports or fantastic music club, and even take part in these amusements. Apparently, young people enjoy life better than the older people.
Second, young people own the most essential factor---physical energy and mental energy of engaging in activities to enjoy lives. Teenagers are full of energy, curiosity and interests to go to the clubs even after a whole day of school work. To them, participate in amusement activities is sort of method that can release them from the heavy school work. Nevertheless, the older people feel tired when they come back home from company. I guess they are just lack of the energy to pay attention to developing their mental lives. Consequently, young people enjoy life better than the older people.
Finally, young people know much about how to benefit from technology for them to enjoy life. Take the Internet as an example. Young people can easily communicate with their friends in any part of the world, by using a PC which connected with the internet. Thus they chat together, laugh together and also acquire comfortable encouragement from their friends when they feel frustration. What's more, they are entranced in computer games, which are harmful for their development on some sense but undoubtedly very enjoyable. Older people, however, as being tardy to accept new things and fast development, usually get behind on enjoy life in this generation. Therefore, we can say by using developed technology, young people obtain much convenience to enjoy their lives.
In conclusion, today's young people enjoy life better than the older people, since they generally have much free time, possess both physical and mental energy and also keep pace with the developed society.
[/code]
[[i] 本帖最后由 asahi 于 2009-6-4 19:31 编辑 [/i]]
Dear Dr. Tony~plz give me suggestions~THX
Howdy Dr. TonyThis is my article about iBT as a attachment. I finished it in the 30 mintues. I need some suggestions...Thx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
60. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In my opinion, I agree this statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children. That's because people can learn many things from games even audlts. In addition, I believe that audlts have more pressure from works, relationship, and family. Thus, they can play games to relax when they feel pressureize. There are several reasons to supply my viewpoint.
First of all, playing games can make friends. It is easy to make friends when you join the game including sport games and computer games. When I came to United State, I didn't have many friends. Thus, I came to recenter to play table tennis. I found many students who were interested in this sport. I made many friends during that time. Now, I still contain to play table tennis with them every week.
Second, learning much infromation from games. We all know that children can learn how to collaborate with others from games. However, I think that audlts can learn this thing from games. That's because many people don't know how to work with co-workers. They sometimes complain with each other. Thus, I think that they can learn how to work with others from games. My friend always failed to team work assignment. I asked him to imagine how he worked with his baseketball team. After that, he understood how to work with his team. In addition, he got A score in his team work assigment.
Third, games can make neverous people to be relex. Audlts have many pressure. I think that they can play games to relex. In addition, playing games is good for health, such as sport games. Thus, I always play game when I have pressure, such as online games or sport games.
To sum up, I agree that games is important for people including audlts and children. People can lean much infromation, make friends, and make themselves relax. Thus, I think that everyone needs to play games.
Word Count: 325
回复 1# Tony教授 的帖子
请Tony教授修改一下：171. Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
If I plan to be away from my home for a year, absolutely I should take my clothes of four seasons and some personal care items for my daily life. What's more, I will keep my skilled knife with me. There are several reasons for that.
Firstly, this skilled and delicate knife was presented to me by my girlfriend at my birthday party. At the moment I accepted the knife and her words "I love you", I was so nervous and exited as to say no words to her back and just stared at her eyes affectionally. What an exiting birthday party for me I will never forget for ever. This delicate knife represents our love between me and my girlfriend. I swear I will work hard to earn adequate money in order to buy my girlfriend a diamond ring to court for her as the ordered gift of marriage. Taking the knife with me often reminds me of my loved girlfriend and her beautiful smile.
Secondly, in despite of this little knife, it has all kinds of functions, such as cutting meat to eat, scraping rust of my water vessels and even protecting myself from robbers because there is a longer and sharper knife which lies in the inside of the whole body and can be unfolded. So my delicate knife is very useful and convenient for me. I will keep taking along with it all the time, which is always combined with my ring of keys.
All in all, considering the special meaning of the knife to me and its helpful multifunction, I very like this knife and take it very seriously. Although it was inexpensive when my girlfriend bought it to me, it is priceless for me. If someone wants to buy it at rather higher price, no matter how much he pays, I absolutely say no to him. I will save it which stands for the true love between me and my girl friend for ever.
回复 13# Tony教授 的帖子
謝謝你的建議 ~~~回复 16# asahi 的帖子
TOPIC:††Agree or disagree：Young people enjoy life better than the older people.WORDS: 414† †† †† † TIME: 0:30:00† †† †† † DATE: 2009-5-23
It is not an overstatement that the increasingly development of technology and society had changed the lives of one generation. Young people in this generation know much about how to enjoy their lives than older people. It is because not only they have more time, better mental and physical energy, but also they know how to benefit from the new technology.
First, being avoid of responsibilities [color=blue](One can be void of responsibility, or one can avoid responsibility. However, one cannot be AVOID of anything.)[/color] and pressures of making living for the whole family, young people possess much time, so that they can participate in any kinds of recreation to enjoy their lives. Old people are usually occupying ([color=blue]use OCCUPIED)[/color] by numerous matters on hand and also the following stress [color=blue](OK...do you mean to say "and any resulting stress?" This is better to say)[/color], thus they don't have extra time to consider how to make their lives more enjoyable and colorful. Young people, like most of my friends, on the other hand, [color=blue](A good tip to remember is to never put two parenthetical phrases side-by-side unless you are an advanced writer. Otherwise it will make your writing look unsophisticated.) [/color]are always thinking and discussing new sports or fantastic music club, and even take part in these amusements. Apparently, young people enjoy life better than the older people.
Second, young people own the most essential factor---physical energy and mental energy of engaging in activities to enjoy lives. Teenagers are full of energy, curiosity and interests to go to the clubs even after a whole day of school work. To them, participate in amusement activities is sort of method that can release them from the heavy school work. Nevertheless, the older people [color=blue](because older people is a general term, don't use the word "THE" because this refers to something very specific)[/color] feel tired when they come back home from company. I guess they are just lack of the energy to pay attention to developing their mental lives. Consequently, young people enjoy life better than the older people.
Finally, young people know much about how to benefit from technology for them to enjoy life. Take the Internet as an example. Young people can easily communicate with their friends in any part of the world, by using a PC which connected with the internet. Thus they chat together, laugh together and also acquire comfortable encouragement from their friends when they feel frustration. What's more, they are entranced in computer games, which are harmful for their development on some sense but undoubtedly very enjoyable. Older people, however, as being tardy to accept new things and fast development, usually get behind on enjoy life in this generation. Therefore, we can say by using developed technology, young people obtain much convenience to enjoy their lives.
In conclusion, today's young people enjoy life better than the older people, since they generally have much free time, possess both physical and mental energy and also keep pace with the developed society.
[color=red](Ok...there is potential there, but some fundamental grammar problems are holding you back. If you have some time, take a look at the following rule for when to use:[/color]
[color=red]If a word can answer "how" something can be done, then it is typically an adverb and if possible add "ly." Although you used this correctly, I feel it's something you need to be careful with in the future.)[/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-6 18:35 编辑 [/i]]
回复 17# ttuuttuu 的帖子
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.††In my opinion, I agree this statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children. That's because people can learn many things from games even audlts. In addition, I believe that audlts have more pressure from works [color=blue](ok, “work” is uncountable),[/color] relationship [color=blue](make this plural),[/color] and family. Thus, they can play games to relax when they feel pressureize. There are several reasons to supply [color=blue]("support" is a better choice)[/color] my viewpoint.
First of all, playing games can make friends. It is easy to make friends when you join the game including sport games and computer games. When I came to United State, I didn't have many friends. Thus, I came to recenter to play table tennis[color=blue] (What does "I came to recenter mean? Do you mean, "you came to realize?")[/color] I found many students who were interested in this sport. I made many friends during that time. Now, I still contain [color=blue](continue)[/color] to play table tennis with them every week.
Second, learning much infromation from games. [color=blue](Ok, this is not a complete sentence)[/color] We all know that children can learn how to collaborate with others from games. However, I think that audlts can learn this thing from games. That's because many people don't know how to work with co-workers. They sometimes complain with each other. Thus, I think that they can learn how to work with others from games. My friend always failed to team work assignment. I asked him to imagine how he worked with his baseketball team. After that, he understood how to work with his team. In addition, he got A score in his team work assigment.
Third, games can make neverous people to be relex [color=blue]("can help them TO relax)[/color]. Audlts have many pressure. I think that they can play games to relex [color=blue](relax).[/color] In addition, playing games is good for health, such as sport games. Thus, I always play game when I have pressure, such as online games or sport games.
[color=red](To sum up, I agree that games is important for people including audlts and children. People can lean much infromation, make friends, and make themselves relax. Thus, I think that everyone needs to play games.
Try to use your spell check and grammar check if possible when practicing your essay. Then remember your corrections so it can help with your future writing. Your mistakes were too simple, and it will give the impression you are careless. )[/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-6 18:38 编辑 [/i]]
回复 18# wcliu_2008 的帖子
Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.If I plan to be away from my home for a year, absolutely I should take my clothes of four seasons and some personal care items for my daily life. What's more, I will keep my skilled knife with me. There are several reasons for that.
Firstly, this skilled and delicate knife was presented to me by my girlfriend at my birthday party. At the moment I accepted the knife and her words "I love you", I was so nervous and exited as to say no words to her back and just stared at her eyes affectionally. What an exiting birthday party††for me I will never forget for ever. This delicate knife represents our love between me and my girlfriend. I swear I will work hard to earn adequate money in order to buy my girlfriend a diamond ring to court for her as the ordered gift of marriage. Taking the knife with me often reminds me of my loved girlfriend and her beautiful smile.
Secondly, in despite of this little knife, it has all kinds of functions, such as cutting meat to eat, scraping rust of my water vessels and even protecting myself from robbers because there is a longer and sharper knife which lies in the inside of the whole body and can be unfolded. So my delicate knife is very useful and convenient for me. I will keep taking along with it all the time,††which is always combined with my ring of keys.
All in all, considering the special meaning of the knife to me and its helpful multifunction, I very like this knife and take it very seriously. Although it was inexpensive when my girlfriend bought it to me, it is priceless for me. If someone wants to buy it at rather higher price, no matter how much he pays, I absolutely say no to him. I will save it which stands for the true love between me and my girl friend for ever.
[color=red]I really don't know what to say. At first, I tried to read everything and correct any mistakes...but then I realized what you were saying. Your most precious possession is a "delicate" KNIFE your gf gave you???? It's delicate, BUT it can protect you from being robbed? Also you were so moved by this gift, you feel the need to buy your gf a diamond ring to repay her kindness? Wow...for your wedding, will your future wife give you a gun? Just a joke. I’m sure you two have a very strong connection.
Ok, well the good news is that with writing for the IBT or IETLS you don't have to authenticate everything...thankfully. However, your style might be a good approach: you say something so amazing, the grader is completely distracted from correcting your essay.
:)[/color] Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers.
Nowadays, some may lean toward this viewpoint that parents are the best teachers. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, the former holds more weight. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
I agree with the statement that our parents are our best teachers without reservation since from I emerged in the world to now[color=blue] (ok, "till now")[/color] we have been living together, meanwhile they are still teaching me a lot! For instance, when I was ten years around, I faced a difficult math problem, so I could not worked out it[color=blue] ("could not work it out"),[/color] however, my father knew the answer and told me how to deal with it.
However, there is a further more subtle cause that we are the best intimate friends, no matter at any time, they will give their knowledge to me without reservation. For example, last year, we played a visit to the city of Beijing ,they even introduced these antiques are displayed there to me, tell me its history knowledge as long as they know.
Of course, I benefited from them more than anyone lese.[color=blue] (How does this example support your statement??? And, how is this related to parents being good teachers?)[/color]
Furthermore, what is worth noticing fact is that due to they know me more than others, it is the best suitable advance and suggestion for me. You know? Such as my personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, they will point out my weakness and fault behaviors depending on my particularity. I remembered that when I did not
know how to chose university, have nonsense of which is suitable for me ,at that case, my parents help me make decision.
In a word, my parents give me masses of significant suggestions and advances, involving much useful and suitable knowledge. Taking into account of all these factors, this article has demonstrated that it is fairly simple to be for the point that “Parents are the best teachers.”
[color=red]I feel you have the right idea, but you need to think things out more clearly. First, you need to be consistent within your paragraphs always asking yourself, "how am I supporting my topic sentence?" After stating examples or using support sentences, make sure you explain how they answer the question(s). [/color]
[color=#ff0000][/color]
[color=red]For example:[/color]
[color=red]I like hotdogs more than hamburgers because they just taste much better. (topic sentence). Because I am a big fan of pork, and pork is a main ingredient of most hotdogs, I am more inclined to eat fewer hamburgers because they are usually made from beef. [color=blue](Here I support my topic sentence)[/color]. I am not alone in this opinion. For example, last year CNN surveyed 2000 college students and found that 90% of them favored the taste of hotdogs over hamburgers due to taste alone. [color=blue](An example to illustrate my main idea)[/color] The fact that these two popular fast foods are typically comprised of different materials would only further strengthen the conclusion that there is a srong correlation between the popularity of hotdogs and their taste. [/color][color=blue](finally I support my example while again emphasizing the main point of my topic sentence.)[/color]
[color=#ff0000][/color]
[color=red]Ok, this is not the best paragraph ever written but it’s simple enough to help you understand how your sentences need to work together in supporting your topic sentences. Please do not use this on the IBT as I know all of you can write better than this! [/color]
回复 23# Tony教授 的帖子
Thank you for your comment for my writing!But What I want to know is that if there are some mistakes in my use of vocabulary or grammer, while you are amazed by my amazing writing.
::14 [size=4][color=sienna]Professor Tony, I will paste your post a writing every day for my 6.21 IBT. I will appreciate your job and care! Thank you![/color][/size]
[color=green]93. Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important. [/color]
Admittedly, many students have to live with roommates, while going to school or university. It is very important for every roommate to have some necessary qualities in order to keep good relationships among them. And only keeping along with his or her classmates well, he or she could concentrate on the study and learn more efficiently. In my opinion, a good classmate should have qualities of honesty, clean habit, tolerance and social abilities.
Firstly, the roommates will live in the same room with their roommates for at least 4 years in the university. It is a long period. They will have dinner together and study together. Everyone should be honest to each other and consider their roommates as their good friends. Only if they become good friends, they will have a good time for their university period, which will become their memorable experience in their lives. On the contrary, when they always tell lies to each other, the quarrels and fight will happen at times. It not only affects their study, but also makes their university life colorless and unhappy.
The second important quality I think the roommates should have is the clean habit. If one of them has a bad habit and always don't clean the toilet in time according to the schedule, the whole room will be full of the sick smell and so you can not sleep well, let alone study efficiently for the next day. So good clean habit is a very important quality for the roommates.
Finally, I think the roommates must have both tolerance and some social abilities. During the period of the university, the class roommates may conflict sometimes, which can not be avoided. How to deal with the problem? Possessing tolerance and some social abilities is necessary. The psychology for the students of universities becomes more and more important. Nowadays some murdering tragedies in some universities have happened a lot in the world, we must have adequate emphasis on the psychology of students, especially for dealing with the relationship of the students towards their roommates. The harmonious relationship can guarantee the students’ health psychology and keep their soul and spirit full of love and kindness.
All in all, I definitely think that good roommates should have qualities of honesty, clean habits, tolerance and some social abilities, which are all indispensable, due to the reasons I mentioned above. Only if roommates possess these qualities, they will lead a happy and enjoyable life in their universities and form harmonious relationships with their friends, and also they will save enough time and energy to concentrate on their study and research.
[[i] 本帖最后由 wcliu_2008 于 2009-6-6 22:01 编辑 [/i]] [font=Calibri]are parents the best teachers?
I admit that parents play a highly important role in the early education of their children and[/font]
[font=Calibri]they are perhaps most concerned about the development of their children.However,I can't agree with the opinion that parents are the best teachers.[/font]
[font=Calibri]
First of all,not all parents are good teachers even good person.As is known to all,as common humman being,parents in spite of his race and color more or less have bad habits,such as alcoholism.The children may unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including these bad ones from them,even though their parents may try their best to avoid these bad habits influence them.To make it worse,some parents' bad habits may cause sever outcome of their children.For example,some children suffered a lot from house violence .When they got oldder some of them at last became juvenile criminals.In these situation,their parents must take great[/font]
[font=Calibri]responsiblity for their behavior.[/font]
[font=Calibri]
Secondly,even though some parents help their children a lot teaching them every subject at their early stage of education or latter, the effect of teachers can't be replaced.Today we live in such a word that knowledge is accumulated by multiplying.To be professional in a certain field will take much longer time than before.No parents can be professional in all fields,though their might be experts in one or more fields. For instance, the knowledge we learn from university such as Calculus, Automation generally can't be taught by our parents. And according to current education system,in most cases we spend much more time in schools than in home, so to some extent the time we spend together with our teachers and friends is much more than we spend with our parents ,therefore, the teachers and students have more influence on our views and outlook on world and life.
[/font]
[font=Calibri]
In sum,Parents are indispensible in our development and education.They teach us how to walk ,how to speak and how to get along with other people.We should give our best wishes to them and they deserve it.But not all parents are good teachers and there are still many other people who give us guidance like teacher and friends.They all light the way we will walk on.So,I can’t agree that parents are the best teachers.[/font] 35 Some people like to attend a live performance while others think that watching the same event on television is more enjoyable. To me, I choose watching an event on television because it is easier and not limited and you have choices and can know more details of the event.
Hardly anyone can doubt the wonderful performance exerts tremendous influence to the lives of the modern people. We can taste the cherished art style which bequeathed by our predecessors and enjoy the creative and exciting behaviors that open our eyeshot. When people are prepare to watch the performances, who decide whether they would prefer to do before the screen or on the seat of the live performance. It is rational to recognize the watching the same event on the television is a better alternative.
Watching the performance on the television gives us good opportunity to share the happiness together with the family. The society may place us into the pressure cooker of the competition so that people have a perpetual struggle against the poverty or several stresses. This situation decreases the time of the get-together of the family reunion. Watching television is a precious moment that we can discuss the topic and opinion about the performance, especially the existence of the same interest of this sort. Thus, the atmosphere before the TV takes our minds off the suffering to tough matter.
The performance on the TV is able to be stored and deposited by the people. This pattern is conducive to the go across the boundary of the time and space. We cannot make the flexible time plan for each live performance we love so much. And we are reluctant to face the monotonous programs. The videos can be stored into some form of database, like DVD, so that we can see the favorite performances over and over again any time we want.
The performance on the TV may offer the people a great panorama which help they understand and appreciate plentiful valuable information. More often than not, one takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world, not to mention the view hidden. In the place of the live performance, we obtain settled seats which usually limit the view of the picture. By comparison, multi-point cameras never fail to manage to provide the hot point and detail on the performance. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. In a football game, a forward missed his goals and has his shots blocked much frequently than he scored. Many people in the seats of sport field insulted his performance extremely. However, others before the screen would find this forward suffered from the rival backs seriously, they really understand his injurious situation.
In conclusion, people often prefer to watch the live performance on the TV, for the purpose of a little get-together with family, or because of the convenience of watching at their disposal, or just comfortable panorama view. Considering the mention above, we can draw the conclusion that watching the same event on the television is superior to being spectator of the live performance. Admittedly, many students have to live with roommates, (A comma is not necessary here at all.) while going to school or university. It is very important for every roommate to have some necessary qualities in order to keep good relationships among them. And only keeping along (The term “keeping along” is not appropriate here. Perhaps, “getting along” is something you wanted to say) with his or her classmates well, he or she could concentrate on the study and learn more efficiently. In my opinion, a good classmate should have qualities of honesty, clean habit, tolerance and social abilities.
Firstly, the roommates (Please look at some of my other posts. I talk about when to use “the” and “a.” You don’t want to use “the” here b/c you are speaking generally.) will live in the same room with their roommates for at least 4 years in the university. It is a long period. They will have dinner together and study together. Everyone should be honest to each other and consider their roommates as their good friends. Only if they become good friends, they will have a good time for their university period, which will become their memorable experience in their lives. On the contrary, when they always tell lies to each other (Ok, here you are presupposing they will/must lie. Not good), the quarrels and fight will happen at times. It not only affects their study, but also makes their university life colorless and unhappy.
The second important quality I think the roommates should have is the clean habit. If one of them has a bad habit and always don't clean the toilet in time according to the schedule, the whole room will be full of the sick smell and so you can not sleep well, let alone study efficiently for the next day. So good clean habit is a very important quality for the roommates.
Finally, I think the roommates must have both tolerance and some social abilities. During the period of the university, the class roommates may conflict sometimes, which can not be avoided. How to deal with the problem? Possessing tolerance and some social abilities is necessary. The psychology for the students (Ok, it’s hard to correct you here because I need to guess your meaning. But, maybe you want to say, “the psychological state of students/of a student...”) of universities becomes more and more important. Nowadays some murdering tragedies in some universities have happened a lot in the world, we must have adequate emphasis on the psychology of students, especially for dealing with the relationship of the students towards their roommates. The harmonious relationship can guarantee the students’ health psychology and keep their soul and spirit full of love and kindness.
All in all, I definitely think that good roommates should have qualities of honesty, clean habits, tolerance and some social abilities, which are all indispensable, due to the reasons I mentioned above. Only if roommates possess these qualities, they will lead a happy and enjoyable life in their universities and form harmonious relationships with their friends, and also they will save enough time and energy to concentrate on their study and research.
(Ok. The essay is not bad, but there are some fundamental grammatical problems concerning conjugation, subject-verb agreement, and the proper use of articles. You can find more information online about these specific points. THE GOOD THING is that your overall structure seems okay and you have a good idea about that you want to say, just there is a problem with how you are saying it.)
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-10 09:53 编辑 [/i]]
回复 27# hucumt 的帖子
[size=13pt]I admit that parents play a highly important role in the early education of their children and[/size][size=13pt]they are perhaps most concerned about the development of their children. However,I can't agree with the opinion that parents are the best teachers.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]First of all, not all parents are good teachers even good person [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](In your sentence, the word
“parents” does not match the word “person”)[/color][/size][size=13pt] . As is known to all, as common humman being,parents in spite of his race and color more or less have bad habits,such as alcoholism.[color=blue] ([/color][/size][size=13pt][color=blue]It’s okay to use clauses, but you are using too many:
As is known...as common...in spite of...
This is just too wordy, and you will test the patience of your grader)[/color][/size][size=13pt] The children [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](Again, PLEASE, PLEASE look at my comments about when to use “the.” I have written this many times on this blog.
It will be useful for you to look at that.)[/color][/size][size=13pt] may unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including these bad ones from them,even though their parents may try their best to avoid these bad habits influence them.To make it worse,some parents' bad habits may cause sever outcome of their children.For example,some children suffered a lot from house violence .When they got oldder some of them at last became juvenile criminals.In these situation,their parents must take great[/size]
[size=13pt]responsiblity for their behavior.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]Secondly,even though some parents help their children a lot teaching them every subject at their early stage of education or latter, the effect of teachers can't be replaced.Today we live in such a word that knowledge is accumulated by multiplying.To be professional in a certain field will take much longer time than before.No parents[color=blue] [/color][/size][size=13pt][color=blue](Never do this, you should say, “parents can’t/are inable to...”)[/color][/size][size=13pt] can be professional in all fields,though their might be experts in one or more fields. For instance, the knowledge we learn from university such as Calculus, Automation generally can't be taught by our parents. And according to current education system, [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](Here is an instance where “the” could be used and is probably needed.
you need to also state WHICH system and where.)[/color][/size][size=13pt] in most cases we spend much more time in schools than in home, so to some extent the time we spend together with our teachers and friends is much more than we spend with our parents ,therefore, the teachers and students have more influence on our views and outlook on world and life. [/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]In sum,Parents are indispensible in our development and education.They teach us how to walk ,how to speak and how to get along with other people.We should give our best wishes to them and they deserve it.But not all parents are good teachers and there are still many other people who give us guidance like teacher and friends.They all light the way we will walk on.So,I can’t agree that parents are the best teachers.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt][color=red]Ok, several problems with this essay.
[/color][/size]
[color=red][size=13pt]1.
[/size][/color][size=13pt][color=red]Spell Check[/color][/size]
[color=red][size=13pt]2.
[/size][size=13pt][color=red]After a “.” double-space before writing the next word.
After a “,” single-space before writing the next word[/color].[/size][/color]
[size=13pt][color=red] [/color][/size]
[size=13pt][color=red]But your logic is reasonable and you are following a structure.[/color][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-9 11:00 编辑 [/i]]
回复 28# 202620 的帖子
[size=13pt]Hardly anyone can doubt the [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](PLEASE, read my posts about when to use “the” and “a.”)[/color][/size][size=13pt]wonderful performance exerts tremendous influence to the lives of the modern people. We can taste the cherished art style which bequeathed [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](This word is a very, so please use it as a verb)[/color][/size][size=13pt] by our predecessors and enjoy the creative and exciting behaviors that open our eyeshot. When people are prepare [/size][size=13pt][color=blue](Okay, can you use “are prepare” to describe something?
Prob. not.
You want to use the continuing tense, so please don’t forget your “ing”.)[/color][/size][size=13pt]to watch the performances, who decide whether they would prefer to do before the screen or on the seat of the live performance. It is rational to recognize the watching the same event on the television is a better alternative. [/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]Watching the performance[color=blue] [/color][/size][size=13pt][color=blue](Review “the” usage, please.)[/color][/size][size=13pt] on the television gives us good opportunity to share the happiness together with the family. The society may place us into the pressure cooker of the competition so that people have a perpetual struggle against the poverty or several stresses. This situation decreases the time of the get-together of the family reunion. Watching television is a precious moment that we can discuss the topic and opinion about the performance, especially the existence of the same interest of this sort. Thus, the atmosphere before the TV takes our minds off the suffering to tough matter.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]The performance on the TV is able to be stored and deposited by the people. This pattern is conducive to the go across the boundary of the time and space. We cannot make the flexible time plan for each live performance we love so much. And we are reluctant to face the monotonous programs. The videos can be stored into some form of database, like DVD, so that we can see the favorite performances over and over again any time we want.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]The performance on the TV may offer the people a great panorama which help they understand and appreciate plentiful valuable information. More often than not, one takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world, not to mention the view hidden. In the place of the live performance, we obtain settled seats which usually limit the view of the picture. By comparison, multi-point cameras never fail to manage to provide the hot point and detail on the performance. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. In a football game, a forward missed his goals and has his shots blocked much frequently than he scored. Many people in the seats of sport field insulted his performance extremely. However, others before the screen would find this forward suffered from the rival backs seriously, they really understand his injurious situation.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt]In conclusion, people often prefer to watch the live performance on the TV, for the purpose of a little get-together with family, or because of the convenience of watching at their disposal, or just comfortable panorama view. Considering the mention above, we can draw the conclusion that watching the same event on the television is superior to being spectator of the live performance.[/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt] [/size]
[size=13pt][color=red]Okay.
You need to understand when to use “-ing” and when not to use that.
This is one of the biggest problems with this essay.
I only marked one place, but there were many more. I have written about this before, and please dig that out as it can help your efforts tremendously. [/color][/size]
[size=13pt][color=red] [/color][/size]
[size=13pt][color=red]Second, your use of “the” any and everywhere you feel is really killing an otherwise solid essay.
This is a rule you can learn in about 30 seconds and it can elevate your writing greatly.
Please review some of my previous essays for more information about that.
[/color][/size]
[size=13pt][color=red] [/color][/size]
[size=13pt][color=red]Finally, you need to review proper verb conjugation.
Too many problems with incorrect conjugation.
Again, a very small problem, but once you correct it, your writing will improve greatly.[/color]
[/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-9 11:02 编辑 [/i]]
回复 1# Tony教授 的帖子
月底考托福，请高手修改文章我这个月底就要考托福了，之前有上过XDF的1000元一个小时的课，可是我觉得作用不大，现在马上就要考试，非常着急。请各位大侠帮我看看我的文章，有什么需要修改的地方，在此谢过了。。。
Favorite person
There must be one or two people who are very important to us in our life. So we love them very much. To me, my favorite person is my father. I cannot afford losing him. At least I cannot until now. I love my dad very much because he gave me live; he educates me; and he helps me.
I will not have a chance to live in this beautiful world without my dad. He game me live. I will be always very grateful for this. He gave me chance to breathe; he gave me chance to see; he gave me chance to smile. Everything I can do and everything I have now is given by my father. He created me.
My father is my best teacher. When I was young, he taught me to speak; he taught me to walk; he taught me to read. When I grew up, he taught me how to get along with others; he taught me how to make friends, he taught me how to approach the goal. He will keep educating me in the future. I will not live and understand the world without my best teacher.
Through out my life, my father is also a good friend to me. When I am in trouble; the first helper appear in my mind is my salted, warmhearted, omnipotent father. He will give me advices and suggestions. Everything will be fine if I turn to my dad for help. He will help me to analyze the situation; then let me make the final decision.
Well, as you see. My dad plays a necessary role in my life. So he is my favorite person. I will always be grateful for what he has done for me; and I will never make him disappointed because I he is my favorite person and I love him very much.
help~~~~~~~~~~thanks !!!!!!
topic ; It’s better to have one or two close friends than to have a large number of casual acquaintances.In my opinion, to have one or two close friends is as important as that to have a large number of casual acquaintances.
Obviously, close friends are helpful. On one hand, the best friends of ours are who we spend much time with, so we usually share our different kinds of emotions with them. Also, for most time, it is the emotion which may be private or secret that we could only tell it to our best friends. But you won’t share your secret with an acquaintance that you are not familiar. If you do so, you may found that it makes you feel unsafe and worried. Additionally, a common friend usually pays no attention to what you are thinking or considering, because you are not the one they are concerned about. On the other hand, when you are in trouble, only your best friend or your relatives will provide some practical aid to you. However, other people may just offer some sympathy to you.
In spite of the advantages of close friends, a large number of common friends are beneficial as well. Facing the keen social-competition, a huge interpersonal-relationship plays a more and more significant role in our daily life. More friends mean more opportunities. It provides far more options for you to choose. For example, when you lost a job, you should find another one to support your family. At this moment, your wide interpersonal-relationship helped you. Your friends may offer some chances to you to help you make a life. As a result, it is easier for you to fulfill your ambition by different means. Besides, you are able to receive all sorts of useful information from your numbers of casual acquaintances. What’s more, you will keep the affair in perspective by different angle of different friends.
From what we discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that to have one or two close friends is essential as well as to have a lot of casual acquaintances.
回复 31# glassmoon 的帖子
[color=Red]Ok, [/color][color=Red]Your essay needs better organization and clarity with your individual points. I wrote this pretty fast, but you can get an idea of what you need to do. Now, I expect you to write much better than this, but this can serve as a guide for your future writing. I also heard you paid a lot of money to have your essay corrected by some experts.... So, next time, save your money and ask a more qualified person.[/color]
[color=Red]Most people can easily identify one or two memorable people in their lives; however, when asked to designate one as most significant, this can be a challenge. Despite this, for me the choice is clear, and my father is the one person I admire most. I am able to make this decision based on the simple facts that my father was mainly responsible for my birth; he educated me during my adolescence; and he has always been a good friend. [/color]
[color=Red]...you can put whatever you feel is best here... I will skip down to the last two points.....[/color]
[color=Red]Throughout the years, my father has been my best teacher. When I was young, he taught me to read and write, and even to speak. My father took quite an active roll in my upbringing, and consequently was very hands on with my education. He taught me with patience and understanding, and he never tired of my mistakes. Today I am a good student in my school, and I can't help but attribute my present status to my educational foundation that my father helped establish very early in my life.[/color]
[color=Red]Last, but certainly not least, my father is also one of my best friends. Over the years, he has successfully made the transition from teacher to friend, and this has only strengthened our relationship. When I am in trouble the first person I think of is not my mother or my friends, it is my father. Because he has always been by my side and always cared about my development, I know I can depend on him. Also he consistently has time to listen to me and talk about whatever is going on in my world. This is the definition of a true friend. [/color]
[color=Red]As clearly stated above, my dad has played a necessary role in my life, and this is why he is my favorite person. As I continue to grow and mature, I will never forget all that has been done for me by others, and while some contributions are greater than others, my father's will remain foremost in my heart. [/color]
[color=Red](oh, yeah!)[/color] [quote]原帖由 [i]Tony教授[/i] 于 2009-6-9 11:01 发表 [url=http://bbs.taisha.org/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=14522667&ptid=1251299][img]http://bbs.taisha.org/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
Hardly anyone can doubt the (PLEASE, read my posts about when to use “the” and “a.”)
wonderful performance exerts tremendous influence to the lives of the modern people. We can taste the cherishe ... [/quote]
教授好，针对你的意见做如下的修改:
[font=Times New Roman]Hardly anyone can doubt a wonderful performance exerts tremendous influence to the lives of modern people. We can taste cherished art styles which bequeathed by our predecessors and enjoy creative and exciting behaviors that open our eyeshot. When people are prepared to watch performances, they often decide whether they would prefer to do before the television screen or on the seat of sport fields. It is rational to recognize the watching a live performance on television is a better alternative. [/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Watching a performance on television gives us a good opportunity to share the happiness together with the family. This society may place us into a pressure cooker of competitions so that people have a perpetual struggle against the poverty or several stresses. This arduous situation decreases the time of a get-together of family reunions. Watching television is a precious choice that we can discuss topic and opinion about the performance broadcasted, especially the existence of the same interest of this sort. Thus, the atmosphere before TV screen takes our minds off the suffering from tough matters.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]A performance on TV is able to be stored and deposited by people. The useful mechanism is conducive to going across the boundaries of time and space. We cannot make a flexible time plan for each live performances though we love them so much. And we are reluctant to face plentiful monotonous programs. The videos can be stored into some form of media matters, like DVD, so that we can see favorite performances over and over again any time we want.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Television may offer people a great panorama which help they understand and appreciate lots of valuable information which originates from the performance. More often than not, one takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world, not to mention the specific details hidden from the view. In the place of a live performance, we obtain settled seats which usually limit the view of pictures. By comparison, multi-point cameras never fail to manage to provide hot point and detail about the same performance. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. In a football game, a forward missed his goals and had his shots blocked much more frequently than he scored. Many people in the seats of sport field insulted his performance extremely. However, others before TV screens would watch this forward suffered from the rival backs seriously, they really understand his injurious situation.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]In conclusion, people often prefer to watch a live performance on TV, either for the purpose of a happy get-together with the family, or because of the convenience from watching TV at their disposal, or just comfortable panorama view results from TV. Considering the mention above, we can draw the conclusion that watching a live performance on television is superior to being spectators of the sport fields or the theatres.[/font]
对于你说“the”的使用应该都改好了，但其余的[color=red]“-ing”和verb [size=13pt]
conjugation [color=black]的我不是很确定 改了一部分（其中[size=13pt]prepare我是写错了应该是prepared。。而bequeath本来就是个动词啊 应该没有错的吧[/size]） 麻烦您多多指教，最好说个例子[/color][/size][/color]
[color=#000000]
[/color]
[color=#000000][size=13pt]或者您使用即时聊天工具 我们是否可以在线交流 因为我确实快考试了 谢谢[/size][/color] 又写一篇 多多指教
[font=Times New Roman]4. It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? [/font]
Hardly anyone can doubt that learning knowledge exerts tremendous influences to the lives of ordinary people, even the development of society and human being. People chasing eternal knowledge often decide whether they would prefer to learn by reading or doing related activities. It is rational to recognize that obtaining knowledge by reading books is a better alternative.
To begin with, in terms of the view, reading books is superior to practical experience in that reading can give people more opportunities to touch, taste and digest different kinds of knowledge. Publication of books is regarded as an essential role of broadcasting the knowledge because it involves almost all of arenas ranging from art to industry. Obviously, alternatives provided by experiences are restricted when compare to reading books. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. More often than not, archaeologists understand the ancient rituals and ceremonies. They only manage to research clues and materials stem from the professional books rather than unavailable practical experience, because the latter one is subject to boundaries of time and space.
Furthermore, reading can be devised for tough environments and non-flexible schedules, but it is difficult for experience to be accumulated in this case. Due to convenience result from reading book, it can be treated as a partial solution in some vehicles and contents of books are read over and over again. However, practical experiences suffer from the limitations originate from the condition. For example, in train, bus or airplane, we may enjoy the happiness of reading, even probably taste and digest knowledge comfortably. But we seldom take our minds off this journey for any practice which involves considerable preparation and plans.
Finally, book has the reputation of being a cheap media of knowledge which may be more efficient than operation for obtaining experience. For instance, knowledge of same event such as the nuclear weapon theory could be mastered and understood by different ways at the expense of different cost----zenith or nadir. Although a related nuclear experiment can offer people a visual view and many parameters, it costs a large number of financial resources. With respect to the economics, the insightful man invests apt money to get back interest in the form of panorama knowledge by reading many important books. In this pragmatic society that recommends the efficiency is sacred, it is easy for the wise man to make a hardheaded decision for chasing knowledge by reading books. Reading is a good choice which holds the balance between effectiveness and cost.
In a nutshell, people prefer to learn knowledge by reading books, either for the purpose of a big picture of knowledge, or because of convenience of reading books, or just worship to efficiency. Considering the points mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that reading books is a better alternative other than experience the related operations.
[[i] 本帖最后由 202620 于 2009-6-9 14:46 编辑 [/i]] Live life in a hurry or at a lower pace?
Some people are always in a hurry to go places and get things done. Other people prefer to take their time and live at a slower pace. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I prefer to take my time and live at a slower pace. Walking on the street , you always find so many people run with fast pace. Some times I ask myself, what they are looking for? Why they ignore the scenery of the street, and in a hurry to go some places?
In my view, Life is like a long journey. In every section , we have different things to do, different scenery need we to view. If you always in a hurry to go destination and get things done. Maybe you finished the work perfectly good, but you lose the chance to view the scenery. Feng is my adviser. He always walk in a fast pace. Always I found him with hurry manner. Because of this, His body status is not good. He is very easy to get sick. Wang is our English teacher, she always with different style of wearing apparel. She always with delight in the classes. We always found her work energetically. Sometimes she join us and play games together. She said she like live with a slow pace, and view every scenery of the life voyage. I agree our English teacher Miss Wang. To my adviser professor Feng, we are just wasting life, there are many thing waiting us to do. Nowdays there is great compressive stress in our life. If we just walk with hurry pace, the life is lack of colors. Sometimes we need to walk slowly to avoid the stress.
Life is like a long journey. In different sections, we have different scenery to view. If we always walk in hurry, we just lose the scenery. We need to have a my own time and live at a slower pace.
回复 33# Tony教授 的帖子
十分感谢啊。。。。我正在写一篇新文章，写好后，传上来，麻烦您再给我改改的。。。。回复 32# 910913 的帖子
In my opinion, to have one or two close friends is as important as that to have a large number of casual acquaintances.Obviously, close friends are helpful. On one hand, the best friends of ours [color=Blue](You can say this in a different way that would sound much better and read much easier. For example, “with a best friend, one...” Also don’t restate the obvious. If someone is your best friend, then it’s a safe assumption you have spent time with them...a lot of time.) [/color] are who we spend much time with, so we usually share our different kinds of emotions with them. Also, for most time, it is the emotion which may be private or secret that we could only tell it to our best friends. But you won’t share your secret with an acquaintance that you are not familiar. If you do so, you may found that it makes you feel unsafe and worried. Additionally, a common friend usually pays no attention to what you are thinking or considering, because you are not the one they are concerned about. On the other hand, when you are in trouble, only your best friend or your relatives will provide some practical aid to you. However, other people may just offer some sympathy to you.
In spite of the advantages of close friends, a large number of common friends are beneficial as well. Facing the keen social-competition, a huge interpersonal-relationship plays a more and more significant role in our daily life. More friends mean more opportunities. It provides far more options for you to choose. For example, when you lost a job, you should find another one to support your family. At this moment, your wide interpersonal-relationship helped you. Your friends may offer some chances to you to help you make a life. As a result, it is easier for you to fulfill your ambition by different means. Besides, you are able to receive all sorts of useful information from your numbers of casual acquaintances. What’s more, you will keep the affair in perspective by different angle of different friends.
From what we discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that to have one or two close friends is essential as well as to have a lot of casual acquaintances.
[color=Red]Ok, I didn’t make a lot of corrections here b/c I feel you should have taken a side. When you choose one side over the other, it can make your writing very clear. By saying both sides are equally important, you have to argue two points (that both are important) instead of putting your focus on one, and then playing with that. Just a suggestion. I don’t want you to work so hard, ok? [/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-9 17:18 编辑 [/i]]
回复 34# 202620 的帖子
[color=Red]Hey, glad you liked the comments. BTW, use “bequeath” like you would use the word “leave” or “pass” when writing in the present tense. When talking about what one person did to another, then you can use “bequeathed.” [/color][color=Red]Keep working hard![/color]
[color=Red]Tony[/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-9 17:22 编辑 [/i]]
回复 35# 202620 的帖子
Hardly anyone can doubt that learning knowledge exerts tremendous influences to the lives of ordinary people, even the development of society and human being. People chasing eternal knowledge often decide whether they would prefer to learn by reading or doing related activities. It is rational to recognize that obtaining knowledge by reading books is a better alternative. [color=Blue](Ok...this sounds a bit strange. “While pursuing knowledge” or “Continuously pursuing knowledge requires...” )[/color]To begin with, in terms of the view, reading books is superior to practical experience in that reading can give people more opportunities to touch, taste and digest different kinds of knowledge. Publication of books is regarded as an essential role of broadcasting the knowledge because it involves almost all of arenas ranging from art to industry. [color=Blue](How do you know it’s “regarded as an essential role? Who told you that?) [/color]Obviously, alternatives provided by experiences are restricted when compare to reading books. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. More often than not, archaeologists understand the ancient rituals and ceremonies. They only manage to research clues and materials stem from the professional books rather than unavailable practical experience, because the latter one is subject to boundaries of time and space.
Furthermore, reading can be devised for tough environments and non-flexible schedules, but it is difficult for experience to be accumulated in this case. Due to convenience result from reading book, it can be treated as a partial solution in some vehicles and contents of books are read over and over again. However, practical experiences suffer from the limitations originate from the condition. For example, in train, bus or airplane, we may enjoy the happiness of reading, even probably taste and digest knowledge comfortably. But we seldom take our minds off this journey for any practice which involves considerable preparation and plans.
Finally, book has the reputation of being a cheap media of knowledge which may be more efficient than operation for obtaining experience. For instance, knowledge of same event such as the nuclear weapon theory could be mastered and understood by different ways at the expense of different cost----zenith or nadir. Although a related nuclear experiment can offer people a visual view and many parameters, it costs a large number of financial resources. With respect to the economics, the insightful man invests apt money to get back interest in the form of panorama knowledge by reading many important books. In this pragmatic society that recommends the efficiency is sacred, it is easy for the wise man to make a hardheaded decision for chasing knowledge by reading books. Reading is a good choice which holds the balance between effectiveness and cost.
In a nutshell, people prefer to learn knowledge by reading books, either for the purpose of a big picture of knowledge, or because of convenience of reading books, or just worship to efficiency. Considering the points mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that reading books is a better alternative other than experience the related operations.
[color=Red]Ok, I gave up reading half way through. I can tell you are a smart person, but I feel you are trying too hard to show you are smart in your writing, and that’s not good.[/color]
[color=Red]Try to express your ideas with clearer language that is more direct[/color]
[color=Red]Stay away from blanket statements that assume people know something they might not really know.[/color]
[color=Red]Don’t mix philosophy with your writing at this point. You don’t want to imply or state anything abstract at all. Remember you are not writing for yourself, there is an audience there and assume they know nothing. Then start from there.[/color]
[color=Red]Ok, I’m sure you can do better. Looking forward to reading your next essay![/color]
[[i] 本帖最后由 Tony教授 于 2009-6-10 09:19 编辑 [/i]]