我的GRE作文写作之路(页 1) - GRE作文 - GRE作文资源集中营 - 太傻超级论坛

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:04

我的GRE作文写作之路

小鹏我在这个寒假中开始了我的GRE作文写作,大家都知道ISSUE的写作是非常难的,小鹏在非常难的情况下,开始了自己的ISSUE写作.kA8j6Vm4e)f,E

[quote]写作前的谈话quote]
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小鹏我一开始不知道ISSUE怎样写,于是向了一个朋友求助.

朋友:可以先看看范文,然后大概知道一下作文框架. ISSUE作为学术性论文,所以不像ESSAY,[color=magenta]每段的中心要在开头列出,也就是中心句[/color]
[color=#ff00ff]    [/color]
[color=#ff00ff]          [/color][color=black]就ISSUE8为例,[/color]

[color=cyan][color=blue]          It is often necessary , even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public 1Z+S VU+P*I+U&a
         对于政治领导者来说，对大众隐瞒信息通常是必要的，甚至是有益的[/color] [/color]
[color=cyan]          [/color]
[color=cyan]          [color=black]你说说你自己的观点[/color]

   [color=black]小鹏:有些是有益的,但有些是不对的[/color]ZTfE"L4}
[color=black]  [/color]
[color=black]    朋友: [/color][color=black]那你的观点就出来啦，[/color][color=magenta]第一段就要讲明白你的观点[/color]]&V%\|3]4v/_ s
[color=#ff00ff]          [/color][yJp1Q
[color=#ff00ff]          [color=black]就讲讲你为什么同意，又认为在哪些情况下是不妥的[/color] [/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]y|"rg*Q2_
[color=#ff00ff] [/color][color=black]  小鹏:我觉得，就非典而言，如果隐瞒情况的话是对大众不利的 [/color]f*F;s8lxV;o
[color=black][/color]7z)ui(Zh'EFl?
[color=black]    朋友:这是个具体例子，应该是在一个topic句子后展开的内容,[/color]
[color=black][/color]0g'Vd1Zu\B|4L j
[color=black]          既然举出来非典这个例子了，那我问你，为什么在这种情况下对大众隐[/color][color=black]瞒是不对的呢?[/color]AR { ~Q)O"q
[color=black][/color]e+[q}*w ~{
[color=black]    小鹏:因为如果这种情况下隐瞒病情的话，就有可能让更多人患上这种病，导致很多人死亡
         [/color]
[color=black]             大家知道后，就会有相应的措施来对付来保护自己[/color]+f){Q v9f5p2L JU't
[color=black][/color]2W$AZQ f J-XH)H
[color=black]    朋友:这样不就抽象出来了吗 .就是说在某些情况下，隐瞒信息会对公众造成危害 . [color=magenta]这个可以作为你的一个论据[/color][/color]
[color=black][color=#ff00ff]             [/color][/color]OJehZ
[color=black][color=#ff00ff]             [/color][color=black]再想个隐瞒消息是有益的例子[/color][/color]
[color=black][/color]gp1sJ,Sr$U O
[color=black]    小鹏:我说911之前假设美国政府收到有恐怖分子袭击的信息，但不是很确定，就不公布出来，那样就对公众有益！[/color]
[color=black][/color] |.NT/rG3i'c
[color=black]             如果公布了，可能会陷入全国恐慌 [/color]K#g!t)uyc
[color=black][/color]
[color=black]       朋友:这不，又一个正面topic出来了，就是在事情没调查清楚前，隐瞒消息有利社会稳定[/color]rBmB~9Mq5F
[color=black][/color]
[color=black]             ISSUE写作就是这样,先看清楚题目,然后想好自己的论据和论点,用自己的话写下来就行了.[/color]
[color=black][/color]+D P/Uyrq @(w
[color=black]             那你先写一篇来看看吧;t_.\3TB
[/color][color=#000000][/color]$sON7sph6hq
[color=#000000] [/color]
[/color]Pn+Qk3dN"E
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[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 16:04 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:05

于是小鹏我开始了自己的第一篇ISSUE写作?,g-Z_|-HKj

[quote][size=3][font=Calibri]Issue 4
[color=red]No field of study can advance significantly unless outsider bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.[/color][/font][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]Nowaday, interrelate discipline is more and more important.  A lot of Nobelists are accomplished in several field of study. Such as Albert Einstein, a famous mathematician and physical scientist, have an outstanding performance in these two areas. Newton, a famous astronomer, natural philosopher, mathematician and physics, are familiar with these field of study. Personally speaking, a field which isolate from the other can not advance significantly.[/color][/size][/font]x4[X"Q:ar-yQ
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri] With the developing of the society, fields of study can hardly developing without any outsider knowledge and experience. For instances , the major of Machine Design, if the deviser lack of the basic knowledge and relative subject knowledge , for example , the knowledge of Control Engineering, is the very important relative subject of the Machine Design. In one subject of the Machine Design, it calls for all the equipment working together, so the keystone is the Control Engineering, not the machine itself. So the keystone is how to control all the equipments harmoniously. In that case, the knowledge of the relative subject can help you to finish a big project.  If you only accomplish with one subject, you will lack of a lot opportunity to do such a big research. [/font][/color][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]    [/color][/size][/font]R*RoK`(y
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]The varied of study field could provide many kinds of sense to help improving the comprehension and insightful in one study field, further more, it also be able to raise the sense to make a big break during the researching. John Nash, an Economy Nobel prize gainer, who likes to play strategic games and like the math very much, the college theorem is a very famous paper and make a huge impact in the area of the economy----“Nash Equilibrium”. On the formal side, his existence proof was one of the first applications of Kakutuni’s fixed-point theorem. On the assumption that, Nash was poor in Mathematic and strategic game, how could he work out such blazing theory? [/color][/size][/font]GgVvG|
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Individually, if one wants to make great contribution to a certain fields, the fist and the most important thing is to master all its foundational knowledge. Just because the foundational knowledge can construct a big project, every research without the foundational knowledge supporting will ensure to go death. However, the foundational knowledge is the keystone, but the relative subject knowledge can not miss, such as the application of Mathematic. It is the most important subject in the science area, if the Albert Einstein and John Nash was lack of sufficient power of mathematic, how could they get the Nobel Prize? [/font][/color][/size][/quote]
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朋友看来后的评价:,w@G+Mb9}?

[color=#0000ff][font=宋体]说说感受，我觉得写[/font][size=9pt][font=Tahoma]issue[/font][/size][/color][font=宋体][color=#0000ff][size=9pt]在逻辑上有两点很重要。[/size][/color][/font][font=Tahoma][color=#0000ff][size=9pt]1[/size][/color][/font][font=宋体][color=#0000ff][size=9pt]是要解题，要把题目吃透了，找出你的主攻点。[/size][/color][/font][font=Tahoma][color=#0000ff][size=9pt]2[/size][/color][/font][color=#0000ff][font=宋体][size=9pt]，在写说理的时候，每句话都要想想为什么，这样能防止很多空话。[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt][/size][/font]&QS1^,T*qb/CO?
[font=宋体][size=9pt][/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=9pt]这个题目中有个至关重要的词：[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]unless[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]。[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]它将决定你整篇文章的立论和思路。题目的意思是，除非引进其他领域，否则该领域就不会发展。那天咱俩讨论的时候，立论说的是，我们同意引入其他领域，会使某领域获得发展。但是这个“除非”值得商榷。然后你想补充的是，这个“除非”的点应该是在“以该学者熟练掌握他的一个领域为前提”，就是说术业有专攻，你可以引入其他领域，但是你至少要对一个领域很精通。[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt][/size][/font]{I z u4\6S!@%[ k z!j
[font=宋体][size=9pt][/size][/font][/color]w'j)Y@%JWl)Q4k
[color=blue][font=宋体][size=9pt]但是遗憾的是，这篇[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]issue[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]并没有明确写出自己的观点。我想说的是，第一段可能是个套话段，可能要重复题目，但是里面有个很重要的部分，那就是你要在第一段说明你的整篇文章观点。[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt][/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=9pt][/size][/font][/color]
[color=blue][font=宋体][size=9pt]再来说文章，最大的问题还是文章结构。开头立论和结尾总结，不能少。中间的陈述，要有[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]topic[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]句，要有[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]example[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]，但是不要急于写[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]example[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]。不要一个[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt]topic[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=9pt]，后面紧追一个例子。要有说理，而且要有道理有逻辑。[/size][/font][font=Tahoma][size=9pt][/size][/font][/color] N z|'i*pz2ccG$q

[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:06 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:08

由于文章结构出现了很大问题,小鹏决定重写一次,fK4r-J#GW

下面是修改版

[quote][font=楷体_GB2312][size=3]ISSUE 4 修改版
[color=#000000]I strongly agree with the assertion that one filed of study would not advance significantly without expertise from various field. Many kinds of nature phenomenon only be illustrated by synthetic knowledge. Otherwise, we can not understand the real matter of them.[/color][/size]
[size=3][color=#000000]  [/color][/size]
[size=3][color=#000000]Admittedly, the interrelated knowledge plays an important role in science research. The knowledge of diverse field can develop other subject significantly. For instance, without the advanced of Mathematics, the area of Physics would not develop so rapidly. The base research of Physics is established by the methodology of Calculus, however, the calculus is one by-product of the Physics. Newton, the initiator of Calculus, is a very famous Physicist who established the classical dynamics. He makes a great contribution in both Mathematics and Physics. Without the knowledge of interaction area, he would not be so success.[/color][/size]
[size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size] A!XR?"z [
[size=3][color=#000000]Synthetic knowledge also makes a deep comprehension and insight when you do a research. Further more, it helps to make a big break in some area. John Nash, an Economy Nobel Prize winner, who in favor of Mathematic and likes to play the stratagem games. His college theorem Nash Equilibrium makes a huge impact in the economy area. His existence proof is the one of first application of Kakutuni’s Fixed-point theorem. The Nash Equilibrium is constructed by the theory of both stratagem game and calculation. If Nash was short of one field, the theorem could not be discovered.[/color][/size]
[size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size]+g*Vu.t4T#T
[color=#000000][size=3]The interrelated fields of knowledge can demonstrate the new theory correct or not. The well knowing in mathematics can verify the new conclusion of Physics. In the area of Biology, one important way to evaluate a new achievement is use the method which to demonstrate the Chemistry conclusion. And there are still many other fields need the help of the interrelated knowledge. For example, the preschool education needs the theory of psychology, linguistics, and so on. One research pointed out, the emotion will enhance or reduce the efficiencyof the study, Knowing well in Psychology can help to increasing the positive emotion that directly increasing the effect of the study. Such as, the happy study is a good way for student to increasing the study effect. The student will get a cheerful feeling from the proceeding of it. In that case, they will fall in love with the study, and study [color=black]consciousness[/color]. And for the preschool children, the langue is a very important tool for they too understand the outside worlds. The parents who lack of the knowledge in linguistics will directly infect the children’s ability of speaking and listening,          [/size][/color]u*x v|K0B\lO$]&VT
[size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size]
[/font][size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri][font=楷体_GB2312]In sum, no area of intellectual inquiry can keep walking without the interrelated knowledge. With rapid developing of science, more and more achievement of research reflects that the synthetic- knowledge is more and more important. However, if we want to have a big break in a certain field, the first and the most important thing is to master all the foundational knowledge. In that case, one who wants to be success in a certain area, he must be work hard in its all foundational subject.[/font]       [/font][/color][/size] dcm)m X+?_
[/quote]
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[size=2]朋友的评价:[/size][size=1]总体感觉是文章结构完整了，就是写的有点浅，多写几篇就好啦～另外就是短语啊，关联词啊少了点，比如more and more， big，huge， important用的太多。而且短句子太多。[/size]A5SF$p-e[2T+N

[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:09 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:10

知道第一篇的不足后,我开始了第二篇的写作

[quote]4U9Q H7d `|/lg
[size=3][font=Calibri]ISSEUE 7[/font][/size]
[size=3][font=Calibri] According to the speaker, he overstates the importance of camera in recording the history. Although I agree that a video provide a more accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, the documenting still play a key role in some area.[/font][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3] [/size][/font]
[size=3][font=Calibri] In some area, video can bring much more objective and accurate record of events than documenting. Such as the Olympic Games, a global athletic competition, only when recorded by the camera people can be directly feeling the exciting atmosphere. The same as the music concern, documenting can never recording it no matter how accurate word you used. The “911” event, which make a huge impact in the USA, without the camera recording, the next generation have to imagine the proceeding through the words. Through the recording video, we can see that how the plane crushed into the World Trade Center, how the tower collapsed, and how the people escaped from the building. Yet these are important events in contemporary life, they will be a history and recorded by both video and article. Through the video we can realize the whole events by the impacting screen while the words only can be imagined.[/font][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][/size][/font]
[size=3][font=Calibri] The video have the advantageous much more than those describe above. In the legal profession, camera is a very important tool to record the event’s evidence. The modern approach the figure out the true in a criminal case is video, it can bring you back to the scene of crime. In that case the bands can easily impose the criminal such as the robber, murderer and so on. With the help of camera, more and more criminal have been cracked. In this area, pen can described nothing when no people in the scene. [/font][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][/size][/font]7@/{"D1y@Y0c#_'Z
[size=3][font=Calibri] Though the video can provides an accurate and objective record of the events, it was useless to documenting the mind of people, the quantitative information, and something else. As we know that, video can only reflect the outline of the solid, not describe it. In some area, we need a quantitative number do describe some event. For examples, during the War World Two, we need to comprehend how many people was death; also, we need to know how much building was destroyed and how many children lost their parents. Camera make useless in these fields. In the literary work, we just can image the world which the author described. The spirit of the novel, article, essay can not be recorded by the machine, just through the living words we can be apart of the story which happened in the virtual world. In the account, use the video to record the number is unconvinced, if we want to account how many people die during the war, how many cameras should we put in the battlefield?[/font][/size]
[size=3][font=Calibri] [/font][/size]
[size=3][font=Calibri] Above all, the speaker’s claim is overstates the importance of video records, at least at some area. When it comes to recording the object event, it has the advantage of accurate and convincing than words. However, when it comes to record the subjective emotion and quantitative information, the traditional tools is much more convincing.[/font][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3] [/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3] [/size][/font]Jd d5NVleB
[/quote]
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[size=3]朋友评价:[/size]
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[size=2][font=宋体]这篇文章交上篇有了一定的进步，语言上进步不小，但是[color=blue]观点上还非常的不理想[/color]。你没有一个非常明确的论点，没有倒向一边，而是双面议论，这样在把握上会增加你很多的难度[/font]
[font=宋体][color=blue]考试的时候，尽量都用“一边倒”的论点，不要反复。[/color][/font][/size]
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[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:13 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:15

明白了论据支持的重要性后,我开始了下一篇写作

[quote][size=3][font=宋体]题目：[/font][font=Calibri]all nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world’s most persistent social problems[/font]%yS+p@1Y
[font=Calibri][color=#000000][/color][/font]3}| L P6J5\8^6\
[font=宋体][color=#000000]正文：[/color][/font][/size]$h[7^B-s
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]I strongly agree with the author that a global university will solve numerous existing persistent social problems since the international organization can absorb various opinions from different religions and different nations[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]The global university can provide a stage to listening different sound from different area. Everybody no matter where you born in the earth can put forward your individual opinions in the international university. There is a safe place for everybody to raise his proposals without worry about the stress from outsider. The members of the organization will listen to the people’s respects carefully and patiently just because everyone is equal in the global university. Take the United Nations as example, an international organization similar to the global university which is famous for its nice atmosphere in the communication. A growing numbers of policy to solve the social problems were born in the Untied Nations not only because is have different aspect from every corner of the world, but also the harmonious surrounding it is.[/color][/size][/font]V7z-lEo_~
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]The global university would assimilate the different opinions no matter who you are, where you come from and what you do. Different from some other organizations it will accept the most efficiency respects. No concept of religion and race will exist in the international university that the students who believe Islam have the equal opportunity to explain his or her ideas as the Christian. The students born in Africa also can pick out the method to mitigate the bloody conflict as the one come from American. Even the commoner can cooperate with the Prince who came from England. In the subject which can figure out some new approach to solve the persistent problem.[/color][/size][/font](K'C2JZv2gW
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]|_b`9]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]The global university can summarize different opinions efficiency. The student different of the international university come from every corner of the world who have different culture, different background, different believe. In that case, they can analyze the different problems with various methods. So that every detail will be considerate, every effect from outsider will be takes into account. The same as the United Nations, in order to mitigate the religion conflict in the Middle East, the staff in the United Nations think out many approaches such as to station troops, separate the believer by barriers and harmonize the people’s contradiction by some other peace device. [/color][/size][/font]:Fvs(Pusj6T O
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]The global university has much more energy than the United Nations. Because the global university constructed by the student come from all over the world and they were born in the new area so that they will have a sharp viewpoints on the policy and have a special mind in the special social problems. They form of a new mind of the world since they accepted the new phenomena when they were young. The new thinking supports a way to figure out the persistent social problems is very useful. [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]8KF`,s0[|(Wa
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Admittedly, the global university has some problems need to solve such as the proportion of students from different country and so on. However, the international university could provide a fairly stage, listening the different sounds, synthetic all the ideas, and have much more energy than the United Nations. In that case, the project to establish a global university is very meaningful. [/font][/color][/size][/quote]
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[size=2]朋友评价: 这次观点不错,现在开始主要是改善你的句子组合和改正语法错误.[/size]7SC3Y)]&{

[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:16 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:22

[quote] ISSEUE 7
  [size=12px][font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]TOPIC: ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000][/color][/size][/font]qV;Jb8hD`
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri] It is too extreme to say that whether a law is just or not. The law was constituted by the government for the public to solve many conflicts during the daily life. It is believed that, the law is valuable for some person and harmful for other individual’s benefit. In that case, two oppose thinking was produce that some people think the law is just while the others considered that it was not and it will arose some conflict between these two groups. So I prefer that we should obey all the law regulation.[/font][/color][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]Law should not be evaluated by the ordinary people whether it is just or not, otherwise it will lose the effectiveness to force the people comply the regulation. The special law for the specifically area is considered and assimilated numerous approach put forward by the people who have the relative experiences. It takes many situations which will be possible to happen in the contemporary society into account. That means the law can solve the problems with the most people’s wishes. Take the case of rubout as an example, most of people consider that it is barbarity to deprive one’s life no matter how wrong he made because every body have the right to live in the world. In the USA, some state governments sentence the murderer to death while the others just put them into prison. In these case, some people believe that deprive the murderer’s life can mitigate the jeopardy during the daily living, they support this law and consider it is just. But the some Christian prefer life is so holy that only god can deprive it, and the law is unjust. The people disobey the law will resist the government’s regulation that they will have some extremely behaviors which will harm the society system.[/color][/size][/font])HG[SJq3Om
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]We should obey the law whether is has the controversy or not. The very function of law is to bring the stable and harmonious society for the civilian. Such as the army, if the solider disobey the order which they think is unjust that the army will lose the battle effectiveness that they will be triumph down by the enemy. The same as the law, if the people disobey the law they think is unjust will raise the criminal ratio. The law is a powerful tool balance the life of civilian.[/color][/size][/font]$lVl(GRu
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]Although some laws exist seldom mistakes needed to change and fix, people should not disobey it but let the relative department to handle this situation. In reality, the law is adaptable and fixable in certain situations, places and times. Take the Clone as an example, some organs can be manufacture by this technology application and cure the disease which can not be cure prior. It is a valuable technology which can prolong the life of human being. Though clone people is harmful for the society harmonious, the organs produce can benefit for the entire world that the law which restrict the Clone can seldom fix for the organs copy.[/color][/size][/font]!Tu{@Vh.\|
[font=Calibri][size=3][color=#000000]In the final analysis, we should support the exist law and support the decision of the government. Even the law is not adaptable in some area, what we can do is believe the relative department will figure out the more fixable regulation to instead of it.[/color][/size][/font][/size]0F"coQJ6Bt;d

6dM"b;m$b'[ NT ~
x CjMQ*u d
[/quote]1| BVr;RT1b

朋友评价:[color=#ff0000]这个题目有3个层次       1 law的分类
                                             2 obey the just law[/color] Q_T$Ojx C
[color=#ff0000]                                              3 disobey the unjust [/color]
[color=#ff0000]如果是我写的话  思路是             1 law 没有just 和unjust 之分  [/color]bb L^JuqvR7qU
[color=#ff0000]                                              2 让步假设有分类----是统治阶级的工具是为他们服务的 [/color]
[color=#ff0000]                                                 遵守just law是必须的+举例：促进社会和谐[/color]
[color=#ff0000]                                                 对于所谓的unjust law 要做的是修改---政府的问题[/color] @3g/o ]#F/F kRC)h
[color=#ff0000]                                                 每项法律都是在不断修改的过程中完善起来的~[/color]V+vu r0l;Kc_8p
[color=#ff0000]                                              3 表明自己的态度[/color]E0{%iS2S)m

[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:29 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:25

经过了几篇文章训练,我开始进入了限时写作%w9{-~?g

[quote][size=3][font=Calibri]As every thread of gold is valuable, so every moment of time. Time is an amazing thing which can explain of the affairs happen in the history. I do agree the speaker's viewpoint that, in some areas, the greatness of individuals can be decided by the people who live after them..C vwhXa-o
[color=#000000]    The production of some areas can make a big break in the especial subject may not be understand by the contemporary people. Copernicus, a famous astronomer who raised up that the Earth is not the center of the universe, but just goes around the Sun. This theory is a big step not only for the astronomy but also improve the knowledge of the ordinary people to know more about the world. But at that age, the religion believes that it is go against with the Bible and it is a cheat to deceive all the citizens. The people who supported this theory will be sentenced to death by the ecclesiae. But after many years, this theory turn out that it is correct. In the area of art, such as Van gogh, a very famous painter in the contemporary society, had a bad living condition when he was alive. His painting style of impression was little welcome in that age, no body want to buy his works because his style of paint was criticized by the contemporary critics. After he died for many years, people consider that the works painted by Van gogh is full of power and imagining, including both the sight and the mental impact.[/color][/font][/size]E!r H Onr,d5Ee`
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]    Not only in the areas of science and art that the contemporary people can not judge it fairly, but also in the fields of politics. During the War World 2, in the battle field of China, Chief Mao was the leader of the Red Army who evaluated was unjust for the Chinese by a numerous of  people, what turned out after the liberation campaign was that he was the very leader who can liberate the China.  [/font][/color][/size]
[size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]    Admittedly, some people is famous in the contemporary and judge very fairly by the contemporary people, but there still a numerous of facts that the people who make a significant improvement for the society just decided by those who live after them.[/quote][/font][/color][/size]
[font=Calibri][size=3][/size][/font] }VVO:MCD1t ]e
[font=Calibri][size=3]朋友评价:对于第一次45分钟写ISSUE来说,字数可以的,但对于ETS来说.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3]                字数还是少了一点.加强练习,争取以后字数得到提升[/size][/font]
2a'WU6C"Bc
[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:27 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:31

慢慢我开始对ISSUE的写作有了些感觉lnbb0[
1T*Q#_r+{p+zt
[quote]
[font=Calibri][size=3]ISSUE 38 [/size][/font][ l@C8D QQWE
[font=Calibri][size=3]In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3][/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=3]正文。[/size][/font]J%Eo:Z8j{+n,M
[font=Calibri][size=3][/size][/font]Z3h2S6KZ;RE"@#y v
[size=3][font=Calibri] According to the developing of the science, the television turned out that it is a new media for people to acquire more knowledge by the educative program or relax in the leisure time by watch the soap opera or fashion shows. In that case, considering the television program have two functions, the correct way in use of television is very important. [/font][/size]
[size=3][font=Calibri] Admittedly, television education is a new approach to extend our horizon. Compare with the traditional methods, television have the more vivid imagine and sounds through the program to influence the audiences, who can accept it much more easily than reading words. Such as the program[/font][font=宋体]，[/font][font=Calibri]“National geography”, which is a very good documentary program for people to understand the environment of the world, it shows various phenomenon and numerous animals by impacted video image and simple explained words. So that people can learn the new things through the education program. [/font][/size]
[size=3][font=Calibri] On the other hand, the studying through the television programs is an unrepeatable process, unless you recorded by the VCR. Considering it is unable to get ready for record the program every times, the television education is a hard work for the student who must listen carefully and take note effective during the program, or he can’t fully understand the program. In comparison with tradition tools of education, reading book is quite a comfortable way not only because you can review it whenever you want but also it can take note in the related place so that it helps to improve the understand and memorize it deeply. [/font][/size]'x5H5m4L&D6R)v
[font=Calibri][size=3]Further more, the television stations operate as an enterprise. So the incoming is very important for then to survive in the society. In that case, they need to improving the number of the audiences what can directly increasing the number of the advertisement. Broadcasting soap opera is an effective way to solve financial problems on the television station. The soap opera is an attracted program which will make a people sit on the sofa all day along and did nothing, especially for the children. In this situation, the use of the television is not a suitable way for children unless they can discipline themselves. Also, the television stations would not broadcast the educated program all day long, they need to fix all the audience’s request. Most of who are adults want to relax through the television program after one day work. And the entertaining program is the very way for them to relax, but it is harmful for the student because it is a waste of time to watching such useless program.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3]Finally, although the television can provide accurate and objective information for the audience, the book can bring you into the author’s world what can not be described by the camera. The author can fix his emotion into the works, and communicated with the reader, it is what the television can not bring to you.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=3]Above all, the television has its advantage such as it can provide the accurate and object information by the video imagines and explain it by sounds. However, its disadvantages such as it is unconvinced for the people to study that restricted its application in the study fields. Also, the book can provide the mental thing which can not be provide by the television lead it a major situation in front of the television program.[/size][/font]%^8RrGh-M
[/quote]5eu%_1y6n%Dp
Aj.z9|e.JV
这篇文章得到了肉丸老师的友情帮助
[quote]-C3q!QC-j9k/|
[size=12pt][font=Calibri]I[/font][/size][size=12pt]SSUE 38 [/size]
[size=12pt]In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.[/size]
[size=12pt] [/size]
[font=宋体][size=12pt]正文。[/size][/font][size=12pt][/size]'C4~ }4w3DpFe A]
[size=12pt] [/size]d7b Q7Wl9cnn%M%j
[size=12pt] [color=red] According to[/color][/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]是根据，如果要表示随着，最好用[/size][/font][size=12pt]With[/size][size=12pt] the [u][color=red]developing[/color][/u][color=red] (development)[/color] of [color=red]the[/color][/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]去掉[/size][/font][size=12pt] science, the television turned out [u][color=red]that it is[/color] [color=red](to be)[/color][/u] a new media for people to acquire more knowledge by the educative program[color=red].[u] or relax in the leisure time by watch the soap opera or fashion shows.[/u](However, people could choose to watch soap plays or fashion shows in their leisure time.)[/color] [color=red]In that case[/color][/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]去掉[/size][/font][size=12pt],[/size][size=12pt] considering [color=red]the two functions of[/color] the television program[u] [color=red]have two functions[/color][/u][/size][u][font=宋体][size=12pt]去掉[/size][/font][/u][size=12pt], the correct way [color=red]to[/color] use [color=red]the [/color]television is very important. [/size]-kgrte7Sq I&vQ
[size=12pt] Admittedly, television education is a new approach to extend our [u][color=red]horizon (view/vision)[/color][/u]. Compare[color=red]d[/color] with the traditional [u][color=red]methods(accesses to information), [/color][/u]television[color=red]s[/color] [u][color=red]have(provide)[/color][/u] [u][color=red]the[/color][/u][/size][u][font=宋体][size=12pt]去掉[/size][/font][/u][size=12pt] more vivid [u][color=red]imagine[/color][/u][color=red](images) [/color]and sounds through the program[color=red]s[/color] to [u][color=red]influence[/color][/u][color=red](impress) [/color]the audiences, who can accept [u][color=red]it(the information) [/color][/u]much more easily than reading words. [color=red]Take[/color] the program[/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]，[/size][/font][size=12pt]“National geography”[color=red] for example[/color]. [color=red]It[/color] is a very good documentary program for people to understand the environment of the world, [color=red]which [/color]shows various phenomen[color=red]a[/color] and numerous animals by [u][color=red]impacted video image and simple explained words (impacting video images and simply-explained words,[/color][/u][/size][u][font=宋体][size=12pt]但能够想出原句的那个已经非常好了，值得鼓励[/size][/font][/u][u][size=12pt]). [/size][/u][size=12pt]So people can learn the new things through the educati[color=red]ve[/color] program. [/size]j M+J!?g$g"~`'?
[size=12pt] On the other hand, the studying through the television programs is an unrepeatable process, unless you record [color=red]them[/color] by the VCR. Considering it is [color=red]impossible[/color] to[u][color=red] get ready for record the program[/color][/u][color=red](get the VCR ready every time),[/color] the television education is hard work for student[color=red]s[/color] who must listen carefully and take note[color=red]s[/color] effective[color=red]ly[/color] during the program[color=red]s[/color], or[color=red] they [/color]can’t fully understand the program[color=red]s[/color]. In comparison with tradition tools of education, reading book is quite a comfortable way not only because you can review it whenever you want but also [color=red]you [/color]can take note in the related place so that it helps t[color=red]o lead to a better understanding and a deeper memory. [/color][/size]
[size=12pt]Furthermore[/size][size=12pt], [color=red]television stations are run as enterprises.[/color] So [color=red]income [/color]is very important for the[color=red]m[/color] to survive in the society. In that case, they need to [u][color=red]increase[/color][/u] the number of the audiences [color=red]which[/color] can directly increase the number of the advertisemen[color=red]ts[/color]. Broadcasting soap opera is an effective way to solve financial problems [color=red]for[/color] the television station. The soap opera is an attract[color=red]ive[/color] program which will make people, especially children, sit on the sofa all day [color=red]long[/color] [color=red]and do nothing but concentrate on it[/color]. In this situation, the use of the television is not a suitable way for children unless they can discipline themselves. Also, the television stations [color=red]do[/color] not broadcast the educated program [color=red]all the day[/color] ([/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]前面已经用了[/size][/font][size=12pt]all day long [/size][font=宋体][size=12pt]了[/size][/font][size=12pt]). They need to [color=red]meet[/color] all the audience’s request. [color=red]Most audiences are[/color] adults [color=red]who[/color] [color=red]need[/color] to relax through the television program[color=red]s[/color] after one day[color=red]’s[/color] work. And the entertaining program is the very way for them to relax, but it is harmful for the student[color=red]s[/color] because it is a waste of time to watc[color=red]h[/color] such[color=red] a [/color]useless program.[/size]
[/quote]
F;c,I*AXM E\
[size=2]老师评价:在细节的地方要注意,总体不错[/size]m6]|(M n\F$}x;{&p1c

[[i] 本帖最后由 txp139 于 2007-2-14 15:36 编辑 [/i]]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:56

[quote][size=3]ISSUE 48 [/size]$V$x;y!w3{'x
[size=3]The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.[/size]
[size=3][font=宋体]正文[/font][/size]u6L#@_3s
[size=3] [/size]O$uYY,HjS
[size=12pt]I concede that the famous people in the history make a big break in various areas, such as sciences and art. However, in some areas, take the politics as example, its development need the help of numerous people. As follow I give detailed explanation.[/size]hHM9SK?)Rq
[size=12pt] [/size]
[size=12pt]In some fields of area, such as sciences, have the significant advancement with the famous people. The development of sciences needs new theory and new approach to solve practical problems during the research. Take Physics as example, the law of gravity which discovered by Newton have put the research of dynamics into a new age. This law can not be discovered by various people who did not concern about Physics research. On the other subject, Music, which was developed by the famous musicians, has the significant advancement by the vivid movements. Beethoven, a famous musician, created seldom works but which led the music to a brand new word. The movement of Destiny makes a huge impacted in that age. As we know that, the creation of movement need afflatus and basal skills, so ordinary people can not contribute to this field.[/size]
[size=12pt] [/size]
[size=12pt]Furthermore, in the republic of letters, the importance of a famous author is much greater than the author who is seldom knew by the public. Although a numerous writers created several works in their life, but what make a tremendous effect was the famous author such as Shakespeare, Hugo and Mark Twain. Their works which have the huge effect can make a significant advancement for the society. Take the works of Mark Twain as an example, it disclosed the unfair political of the government, and call the citizens to resist this situations. In these cases, we can see that, the famous people bring great benefits to the development of society. [/size]e*M vc,N8k u
[size=12pt] [/size]$V P:Myv8Hm
[size=12pt]However, in the fields of political, it is developed by the citizens who care about it. President was elected by the ordinary people, a new policy is born for the satisfaction of individuals, and the cause of revolution was the government can not fix the will of the residents. The Watergate, which made Nixon give up the president-election, was show that ordinary people have the power to do something for history. And the War of independence, which set the American free from the England, was finish by the numerous people who join the war. Although Washington was the leader of the war, without the army which constructed by the ordinary people, he would not be success. [/size]oX:y8w|V5a7I
[size=12pt] [/size]&B7P` S%A~V9d(K
[size=12pt]To sum up, in the fields of politics, people will effects the history. However, in the most of other fields, such as science, art, and literature, the famous people have more contribution than the ordinary people. [/quote][/size]v`9`9H'^6^^
U pW&U#G
[size=12pt]朋友评价:
[font=宋体][size=12pt]这篇文章很好，是你所有文章里面最好的一篇[/size][/font][size=12pt][/size]h,TK/qE.?}
[size=12pt] [/size]
[font=宋体][size=12pt]保持下去[/size][/font][size=12pt][/size]
[/size]

txp139 发表于 2007-2-14 15:58

对于小鹏来说,大家帮了我很多忙,也让我学到了很多写作知识

离GRE作文考试还有一段时间,我要继续努力::z1

medaquarius 发表于 2007-2-14 17:08

跳出来赞一个~~
加油,hoho

Holsety 发表于 2007-2-14 17:23

好帖子,顶

xdjin513 发表于 2007-2-14 17:25

小鹏的作文提升之路

wbavw 发表于 2007-2-14 19:29

赞一个，继续努力哦！

robertzai 发表于 2007-2-26 04:55

作文要天天写表达清楚了就是进步了小鹏加油

haieryu 发表于 2007-2-26 14:36

zan bu gou a

leonjames 发表于 2007-3-1 14:16

顶！！！~~~

::z1

style_lim 发表于 2007-3-22 09:39

看了这个帖子，热血沸腾~我也要加把劲，考好作文~还有一周！！！

mere_imax 发表于 2007-3-24 17:54

感觉是很好的朋友和进步::z2 ~~~顶~~~一同加油~~~

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太傻超级论坛's Archiver

我的GRE作文写作之路

顶！！！~~~