Please, don't ask me How I Am, unless
How are you?9aeS N S:T;B!x!yJ|!X3i"B1i"xc5U.b
It really takes me a long long time to get used to this polite little greeting.
I can never regard it as another way of saying hello. |:w M9]6aY
Especially when I feel down, when I was going through difficult times.
Because the correct answer for this greeting is Good, Not bad.
If you give a response like Bad, the other party will be very surprisedbecause they are not really willing to here what is wrong with yourlife.i;Jk-I g KzH
Because they are not your friends, they respect your privacy. Yourtrouble in life is your own worries. You should not bring it to theschool, to the office, to the public.
Like in China, when I ask you 'have you eaten already?' It doesn't mean I want to invite you to dinner. Just greeting politely. [quote]Because the correct answer for this greeting is Good, Not bad. [/quote]gV:KkJ
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It's not so much that those are the "correct" answers but rather that that's what we say in response to people who we don't consider friends. There are also weaker responses than "bad" if one wants to hint at not being well: could be better, meh, blah, and so forth.
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What addles people is more the fact that you're giving out privileged information than the fact that everything may not be perfect. We here tend to keep personal details out of conversations with people from school, work, etc. and recount them to friends, or at least bring them in gradually. We don't want to be friends with most of the people we meet so we use the amount of privileged information floating about as a gauge for potential friendship.
It sounds like you got poked with the sharp end of the cultural shock stick. Simply put, someone who is unwilling to listen to you is not a friend. Not everyone is like that. Plenty of people are, just like in any culture, but there are still decent people around. It's just that knowing how to spot them may not be immediately obvious. vI!A-nE!C)S
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Some things take a while to get used to or to find the right light to cast them in to explain them. This is one of those things that is rooted culturally deeply enough to act idiomatically.
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