It is undeniable that computer technology has considerably shaped our living. With the advancement of computer technology, we have enjoyed booming productivity, flourishing economy and even free ourselves from doing chores. Most people would like to voice their support on spending more money to develop computer technology, however, just as overdosing may cause serious impairment to our body, spending all the money on developing computer technology can hardly bring satifactory(satisfactory) benefits. With other basic needs ignored, governments would face more problems.
Governments have manifold roles in society. Maintaining a balanced development(这个观点非常好,而且说得很概括,我的一个论点也是这个,但是没有升华到这个高度,表达也不是很好,赞一下) is one of its duties. Specifically, computer technology is only part of all the technologies that are vital for the development. Chemistry, metallurgy, agriculture and many other fields also have important meaning to us. In these fields, massive investment and favourable policy can exert promising results as well. (+Moreover) Before we have interests in learning and using computers, we have to guarantee that our food supply is stable and abundant and have cheap energy price so that we can afford to using(use) electrical appliances. Only when these underlying prerequisites are met, can we think about using computers. Therefore, many other basic fields should never be ignored; governments have to pay equal attention on their development.
Secondly, simply focusing on development of technology ignores the correlation between different fields. Computer technology is not one independent subject that develop(s) on its own basis. A variety of other fields provide fundamental theory and materials to build new computers. The advancement in semiconductor help(s) speed up the computation of the computer and compact its size, while the theory in mathematics give computer scientists nouvel(没查到,啥意思啊?) algorithms. Meanwhile better computer(s) could have positive effects in the research of these areas as a reward. In this sense, it is impossible to concentrate on one and ignore the others. To develop computer technology, other industries are inevitablely(inevitably) involved in the development, and their development could lay the foundation(foundation) for the developement (development) of computer technology.
Moreover, computer techonology(technology) has major application in daily life. In some sense, it is the improvement of efficiency in work and its recreational function that have let computer sales go skyrocketing. As customers have various basic needs to meet before they think about computer. The idea of simply developing computer technology would fail to satisfy customers' other basic needs and will hamper the computer sales.
我觉得这段的观点并没有enough developed,或许你可以把这段与上一段并在一起,因为我觉得多少有点儿相近, 合并在一起后,就只是作为一个补充说明的观点,不会让人觉得单独成段展开的不到位.
When governments decide to invest on computer technology, most people would applaud. However, too much focus on this would break the balance of developement(development) of all fields in society. The irrational idea would not bring expected results to us, and will cause more problems to society.
说理有力,并且句式与用词丰富,看来ex-socier同学又回来啦!
我非常欣赏你的前两个观点,展开的很到位而且逻辑上也有说服力.
唯一不足就是拼写和小型语法错误比较多,考试的时候即使不影响意义的表达,如果错误数量过多必然是要扣分的,可惜了这么好的文章啦….
[
本帖最后由 蛇小萌 于 2008-6-25 23:13 编辑 ]
