Directions:; j/ h5 ~- ]  Q$ @

; s- d* a/ }7 V% E5 E" |2 a3 ESix months from now, you will be graduating from the university. For the time being, you are looking for a chance of internship at the Evening Post of the city." t" N6 R2 E" M% J+ V
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1) State your wish to work as an intern with the newspaper;0 h) A; f; V, C
2) Explain what kind of job that you are looking for;8 ^: Z' Q& g6 `5 F6 y. L
3) State your reasons why you can do the job well.
$ s4 ]" U4 e1 g) d0 Q* _9 K- B1 J
8 b4 ]; {; j+ ?9 o% PWrite your letter with no less than 100 words. Write it neatly on Answer Sheet 2. Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter, use "Li Ming" instead. You do not need to write the address. (10 points)

小作文也很重要哦~这是拿得到的分，尽量少出错~

刚还不知道Everning Post 原来是"晚报"的意思哈.呵呵，又学习了哈
$ x+ w1 k7 i2 E5 b3 _6 a& Y& |. dDear sir:
% |0 |6 U9 M( U5 l# ?* {   I'm a student of a collage.I'm writing to you with the hope of  working  as an intern witth the newspaper at the Evening Post of the city.
0 w. l! ]0 [0 j7 d   实在写不出了，明天再继续吧.明天还有徐绽的课,早点睡了.呵呵
9 W- U1 v/ ]* H8 |; ~
* p) `  }5 |( _; [1 M( k9 Q: e[ 本帖最后由 jlucky88 于 2008-7-24 23:16 编辑 ]

请多多指教
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  |/ F) p2 t- c3 B+ EDear Sir or Madam,( f! X* O! L, N# ^2 |8 z3 \
    I am writing to you for the position of internship at the Evening Post.It is widthly accepted in our city that the Evening Post is a authority newspaper.If I can join it,it will be my pleasure.# R( U7 I% K" ^- {& N

" H( p9 N  E3 y# ~2 c# L    The main reason for my confidence in this position lies in my experience in our university.As a school writter,I have reported many events which were happened in my university.My articles were often posted on my college newspaper.So I think I have the ability  to take the posotion.You also can find more details in my resume." I6 c! A# j$ i9 `' W

8 F7 C& l" c3 n) @7 M   Thank you for you time and patience.I would appreciate it if you give me an interview.: }1 U9 F* q' r+ J

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  z/ @: ~# T, T7 O                                yours4 a1 ~! g# [0 i+ Q* @& c! D
                                Li Ming

引用:

原帖由 kingliuice 于 2008-7-24 17:42 发表
7 F7 `* B7 V. e8 U' WDear Sir or Madam,  X. s0 _+ N$ B

5 H6 G- A# P2 F/ x8 ~  |$ s3 f; yI am writing to you for the position of internship at the Evening Post.It is widthly accepted in our city that the Evening Post is (1)a authority newspaper.(2)If I can join it,it will be my pleasure.1 T, F4 h# W( S8 I5 U  r" c( ^
- E, p5 R( K: T) [3 j" f7 Y
The main reason for my confidence in this position lies in my experience in (3)our university. (4)As a school writter,(5)I have reported many events which were happened in my university.My articles were often posted on my college newspaper.So I think I have the ability  to take the posotion.You also can find more details in my resume." k9 Y4 a% v# c4 J4 @8 o9 @" A

2 k  H+ A1 [8 N& RThank you for you time and patience.I would appreciate it if you give me an interview.
) P) ]* x/ R! N3 ^9 P/ I" ^' D
: G7 ^, n$ @  Z  F9 d# V; Wyours" L9 u' l! q. A% Q5 R6 i
Li Ming% m% R/ p5 {% k' n- h3 k

+ M4 O! n) G" D

6 K/ |! y2 j* R6 B4 s先说格式问题：9 W5 M, R  w( ~
可以全部左对齐，每段之间空一行，最后的落款也左对齐% j, j1 ^0 z: q. G1 K% M6 V
抬头用你的这个可以，还可以用To whom it may concern* k4 g" e! P* ^
最后最好用Yours sincerely或者Sincerely yours, both are ok% B: }* q# G: \  ^8 m

' K7 {6 T7 J8 V+ h下面说文章的问题：
2 F) m7 ~- b% ?: K$ o1. an
3 l! p; A; `5 g3 O2. 典型的中式英语，国外没这样的说法。If I could be in this position, I would be very appreciate it.
6 d  R) R0 ~; x' r4 _8 q) n# d3. my& A+ Q# E5 J5 z) y% y( Q  \
4. As being a writer in the school  但是我觉得这个writer啊，作家。。。我估计也就是校报写个文章啥的，换个词吧
/ r% ]3 ^) |) F2 d  i3 y( X2 o0 u5. 你这样说还是不是英语，我按我的想法修改一个，你参考一下。I have published many articles about my campus in the school magazine/newspaper/journal, so I became the editor of the schoole magazine/newspaper/journal. 后面的那句就不要了
7 d! {* a( c* V& j  A1 U! N" ]
5 C4 }; R7 |5 v$ Z7 D+ |9 v4 t还有一个重要的问题，你没有说你要应聘的职位，即使是intern，也有职位的。
7 t! b& y" R9 c6 x" @$ x/ ~/ v6 _8 d- Q+ }1 ]
总评：小作文有固定的套路和模版，所以相对于大作文而言会简单许多，多背一些模版就可以了。还有，注意要用英语，不要用中式英语。

谢谢批改，我写英语真的太费劲了，也觉得应该多一些阅读，注重一下积累了。0 j1 |! C& W, o% C/ P: O

' A! i# U! `6 C: e/ j不知道应该阅读点什么呢?能给推荐一下？

你现在这样去看看21 century，China daily，或者疯狂英语杂志，都可以，网上很多，下下来就ok了~, P7 N/ e4 g  d* K* i. C/ F
多看，多模仿~

Dear Sir/Madam,
# W( e  l: n1 d' r! |     I'm a would-be graduate doing my last term study in English mayor and writing to apply for an internship from your group.& z4 u5 \  D% K  A* A
     As it known to all,the Evening Post is the most authoritive and representirive newspaper in our city.I am the college student who both has a good command of English and recognition of the city life here.So I believe that I am an appropriate candidate for the position of assistant editor of the oversea news column as an intern for the coming six months before my graduation.
; ]( U& ?' j4 u     If the precious internship is gained,I would do my utmost to assit your editors to collect the useful news from the western media in time and learn to edit them into the style the Evening Post requires.
, p; h2 y; ?+ W. I     I'm really expecting for this valuable working experience before my further study.Hope to hear from your good news soon.
, C# a% ^% t9 y     All the best.
# H) i2 z! \# P8 Q; D: e, L                                                                                                              Yours sincerely,
# p( c% z, Q4 F* `* A3 Q                                                                                                                           Li Ming

Thank you for you time and patience.I would appreciate it if you give me an interview.% S2 o3 I, v9 X  J* w) j6 a( `  u
求职信的抬头还可以用To whom it may concern
, f" H, s; }& U+ k; C3 V" E  ~! DIf I could be in this position, I would be very appreciate it.# w5 W4 s7 g, h- Y7 o7 l1 X$ O6 {
在太傻的激励下完成考研的第一篇作文, 呵呵~自己闷头写完后认真学习了前面大虾们的文字,收藏了上面的资料,谢谢哦!
( C0 c; C2 |) g4 D, b艰涩地写了20多分钟,请版主大虾和各位高手们有时间顺便帮小女子修改下啊!~希望和大家一起坚持下去啊
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! x8 g: p5 H* Z7 i还有一个问题,
  T+ B; _! K) z, w  r6 yfor the time being 是什么意思呢？
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[ 本帖最后由 fairytale09 于 2008-7-25 17:05 编辑 ]

引用:

原帖由 fairytale09 于 2008-7-25 16:44 发表 1 E& ?" n$ G, s$ K8 A7 w
Dear Sir/Madam,- z2 ?' k. u6 O  M6 E
     I'm (1)a would-be graduate (2)doing my last term study in English mayor and (3)writing to apply for an internship (4)from your group.$ r- h6 @5 E; D# C  z3 ^! r
     As it known to all,the Evening Post is the most (5)authoritive and representirive newspaper in our city.I am the college student who both has a good command of English and recognition of the city life here.So I believe that I am an appropriate candidate for the position of assistant editor of the oversea news column as an intern for the coming six months before my graduation.
! N& H2 |- h+ l! E% M; C/ WIf the precious internship is gained,I would do my utmost to (6)assit (7)your editors to collect the useful news from the western media in time and learn to edit them into the style the Evening Post requires.  
% ^# @7 ?& ]% J4 L) a7 {     I'm really expecting for this valuable working experience before my further study.Hope to hear from your good news soon.
  p7 p0 D5 @. L8 G     All the best.
) z% ]) s6 b& o6 U+ u$ e                                                                                                              Yours sincerely,
5 S8 z. [! K6 r  A: @. V; O                                                                                                                       Li Ming

4 b2 i8 ]: L- f0 [/ k  I
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在文章末一般不用all the best
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3 X+ _( _; m6 @9 a2 Q1. a would-be graduate是研究生预备生吧，也就是即将成为研究生的学生，题目说是将从大学毕业，也就是说这不仅仅是一个实习，很可能成为工作的起点，所以还是不要over generalization的好
: x1 I3 N: B% B2. 不能说你这个说法错，但是非常不好。按照正常的说法说你是大四即将毕业的学生即可，没有必要搞的这么复杂。
  A4 N% J: ^$ K& M' M3. 少主语。如果按照并列句来理解应该和前面的doing并列，但你的doing其实修饰graduate的，但这里应该是I为主语的，所以把主语补上。
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5. authoritative, representative
$ s, l; z; z- ]; P$ o, s0 G6. assist
7 \, u4 G: ]: w7 L7. 去掉your
' }1 _6 m8 e4 b, P1 p8. 有个逻辑错误。你说你英语好，而且对这个城市熟悉，结果你申请的职位是海外新闻的助理，和你对这个城市熟悉没有联系啊。! t2 i" N, g. O0 `

9 [5 @% k) D. u/ ^. l+ q5 j- f1 r/ b+ g: c" [
总评：小作文的套路你可以找几个看一下，然后开头结尾都是死的，不要自己独创。中间的部分一定要简单明了的说明自己的情况，你的这篇文章也有很多中式英语的地方，比如college student，一般不这么说的，虽估计你查了金山，但一般情况下你说student也没人会认为你是高中生或者其他什么学生，而且你的第一段也已经说明了你的情况，所以这样来看就有些不必要了。还有错别字注意一下，最好能查字典保证不要写错。2 C9 _% ?+ j" P3 ]: U5 s7 \% Y

/ ?# F9 _0 ^5 G* S再加油咯~
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3 Z$ K7 ^+ I( x! b* y1 z1 R; @for the time being：adv. 暂时，for the moment, temporarily
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[ 本帖最后由 亲 于 2008-7-25 17:59 编辑 ]

To whom it may concern, 7 @, k7 A1 P: v3 U4 \
I'm writing to you to apply for an internship of your group.- Z2 ^* d1 w& x  a# W. O! I/ i0 T
* E" V: K8 e2 f( p8 {. ?) s
As a student major in English and will be graduating from the university six months later, I believe that I am an appropriate candidate for the position of assistant editor of the oversea news column as an intern because I both have a good command of English and experiences of reporting many events which happened in our university as a student journalist. You also can find more details in my resume.
% m4 L$ y$ z3 _8 X8 m- s
: C: \: [4 q7 L9 W) M4 pIf I could be in this position at the Evening Post, the most authoritative and representative newspaper in our city, I am confident that I can do the job well by doing my utmost to assist editors to collect the useful news from the western media in time and learn to edit them into the style the Evening Post requires.) y* a% T, `- [, Y0 p1 m4 ^- _
% T" z6 p, z" ?
Thank you for your time and patience. I would appreciate it if you give me an interview.      
0 V+ G3 `7 C% @, V' r. \3 u4 Y5 [, F0 _
Yours sincerely,# E3 h$ }8 t' b0 N% E( t4 [8 \
Li Ming: Z) [' p% y% a4 ?1 d! b

6 K$ ]% z0 S/ \% f5 Z4 q$ M谢谢！

这个就好多了，加油加油~~